Compare anal with vaginal sex

While working on my article Anal Sex Anatomy I saw a need to compare anal with vaginal sex. While this is not an uncommon muse for many men, heterosexuals and homosexuals alike, the central point to this article is that anal sex constantly gets a bad rap. This article is specifically aimed at to the constant warnings, precautions and concerns about anal sex in perspective. While this might have particular relevance to women, there is a lot that men will learn about women’s struggles with sexuality in general as well as anal sex specifically.

There is far too much emphasis is placed on the risks that are associated with anal sex. That is not to say there are no risks, they just need to be put in perspective. There are similar dangers associated with vaginal sex. Risk of tears and infections from vaginal penetration are, for the most part, glossed over or completely ignored.

Compare anal with vaginal sex pain

You rarely see any discussion on the dangers of vaginal sex unless it is a discussion on rape or sexual abuse. Worse still, it’s commonly accepted that the first time a woman has vaginal sex it is going to be painful. The hymen will, and must, be torn. There will or should be blood on the sheets. So, the first point I want to make is that this should be an unacceptable set of beliefs.

Now compare anal with vaginal sex. But despite the wide acceptance of pain and physical damage to a women during vaginal penetration, the slightest hint that anal sex could be painful (it certainly does not need to be) is considered a hard limit.

Vaginal sex is painful

Let’s start with putting pain from anal sex in perspective. In a 2017 British Study 7.5% of the 8,869 sexually active women in the study experienced pain during vaginal sex. Either very often or always for more then 6 months. In a review of an American survey posted by Psychology Today in 2012, between 15% and 33% of women suffer pain during vaginal sex. The article sites the following causes and more:

  • Lack of lubrication
  • Non-sensual lovemaking
  • Inserting too quickly or deeply
  • Relationship issues
  • Skin conditions
  • Sexually transmitted infections
  • Emotional sexual trauma

At this point you would be forgiven for thinking that they were referring to the causes of pain resulting from anal sex/penetration, but they are not. Go back and look at any list or warnings about the perils of anal sex and you find a striking similarity. Actually, the list of causes for vaginal pain is much longer.

The article makes the following assertion, which I attest to;

“Attention, men: Except for consensual BDSM, sex should never hurt.” This is also the case for anal sex.

Women having difficulty reaching orgasm

Research on this topic is very difficult to pin down. Somewhere between 10% and 40% of women report having difficulty or the inability to orgasm at all. As a woman who rarely has any trouble reaching multiple orgasms, I find this piece of statistics extremely sad. It indicates the amount of women who find the act of sex physiologically or physiologically problematic. I am a believer that whatever social damage had been done to us, we should continue on the quest of finding our release, and in this case, an orgasm is one worthy pursuit.

The popular press and social media is full of advice on the health benefit of an orgasm or how it strengthens relationships when an orgasm is due to/shared with a lover and there are endless lists on how to prepare yourself or your mind for orgasmic sex. I just want to cut to the chase.

If a woman has not been able to orgasm on her own or with a partner, girls I suggest you take out your big guns and buy a vibrator. Guys if your woman is yet to orgasm, I suggest you approach the topic of vibrators sensibly, cautiously and respectfully, just in case she does have an issue with sex toys.

Why a vibrator

Well they are mechanical, unlike human heads, hands and tongues they do not tire. They hit the spot, usually a clitoris or vagina, easily and with care, especially if you are doing the driving. If it’s your partner who is wielding this dangerously, delicious toy, you will need to make sure you guide him, firmly and specifically.

How to use a vibrator?

You use a vibrator however and wherever it feels good for you. I have to say, I’ve never had a problem orgasming on my own or with Max. Having said that, vibrators form an extra set of toys in the bedroom and they are a descendant and hedonistic additional must within our sex play. So I can put it in my vagina, anus as well as a small one to my clit. Don’t start this way… gently progress. This is a play that can be experienced once you have mastered all body parts, one at a time, or together.

How often can I use a vibrator

As often as you wish as long as your toy is working, you can go for your life. However, make sure that your toy is charged or you have a spare set of batteries at hand. Nothing is worse then being in mid/pre-orgasm and your toy starts to fade and gives out. Buzz kill mid-orgasm is one of the most frustrating experiences alongside experiencing endless fumbling from your partner that just does not hit the spot.

What do I do with my dirty vibrator?

Clean and disinfect your toy after use, like you clean yourself.

How do I approach my partner about this?

I’ve never come across a partner who does not like to play in the bedroom. Broach the subject. If it is for your pleasure, then buying your own and introducing it to the conversation of sex, would be a sensible approach. If it is for the pleasure of your female partner, then the subject will need to be broached carefully. I know of women who gag at the thought of sex toys, the gag is not an intended pun. If it is this severe, we suggest sex counselling.

Or make a sex date with your partner and take him to a sex toy shop and choose a vibrator together. Nothing like visiting a sex shop to say you are committed in a loving and non judgemental sexual relationship.

No sex shop in your town or near enough, then this website already has a number of vibrators for women’s pleasure, tried and tested for your inner hedonist.

If your partner rejects the idea, then buy it as this is your toy to revel in. learn to pleasure your body, for it is us women who must know our bodies and needs. Your partner does not need to be part this play until they come around to the idea. If your partner controls your sex and you are comfortable with this, then that’s your choice. If not, then I would suggest partner counselling.

For a list of my favourite vibrators, see this page and happy valentines, give her the gift of an orgasm, or a million Os.

Anal Sex Anatomy

There is a lot of advice regarding anal sex floating around the internet. Most of the information from the medical and health communities is repetition of basic advice. It is superficial advice and bloated with mostly unhelpful warnings about STI’s, bacterial infection risks and platitudes like “use lots of lube.” What I find is missing in almost every case is a discussion on the mechanics (physical effects and interaction) of anal and the sources of both pleasure as well as the origins of pain and the potential risks.

Anal Sex in perspective

Since I will be covering the causes of pain and other problems regularly associated with anal sex, I felt that it is sensible to make some comparisons with vaginal penetration and sex. While much of the advice published on anal sex focuses a great deal of attention on avoiding pain and infections et al, it is very difficult to find advice on avoiding pain and infections caused by vaginal sex. Avoiding STI’s through vaginal sex is almost a throw away comment to safe sex practices. But articles on anal sex are filled with the increased risks of contracting STI (which of course you can’t if you practice safe sex) and UTI’s, etc.

/comparing-anal-with-vaginal-sex/en you take a closer look at issues women experience with vaginal sex it turns out to be a much more complex topic and deserved it’s own article. So, I strongly recommend you start by reading the article Comparing Anal with Vaginal Sex.

The Big Picture of Anal Sex

Large intestine main features

It is worth know about all the section of the large intestine when it comes to anal sex anatomy. While for most people anal sex is only about getting an average human penis through the anus and into the rectum, for most there are many questions and concerns about cleaning the ass out and how far you have to go to get it “clean”. Then there are other who are into depth play either with toys or a human hand (sic. elbow deep fisting and beyond). So this first illustration names the main features of the large intestine. As you read in more depth on various subject, you might want/need to come back to this illustration to get an understanding of what bit is what.

Anal Pleasure for the Reciever

Anal Pleasure for the Giver

X-section of human anus and rectum
Details of the Anus and Rectum

Hi @tyerion. First up your pubo-rectal sling is not the issue. It is located about 1 inch in at the junction or the anus and rectum and forms a part of the muscle group that constitutes your Inner and Outer anal sphincters ( see:- [puborectalis muscle][])

Common Causes of Anal Sex Problems

Common Anal Sex Problems

When we consider the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted in 2010 revealed that almost 1 in 3 American women, aged 18 to 59, reported some difficulty with pain the last time that they had sex, there are bound to be problems with anal sex. As with vaginal intercourse, anal sex should not be painful and there is a lot of false information over inflating the risks of having anal sex. If you want anal play or anal sex easy and worry free, then it is good to know the structure of your back passage and how to control it.

People have been shoving things up their asses for millenia without knowing anything much about their back passage. Anal Sex has historically been a standard method of contraception, preserving a woman’s “Virginity” as well as just for the pleasure of it. Yet, in the modern, western world, mainstream media and sexual education resources warn of many perils and risks associated with the practice. This article will explain in some detail where things commonly go wrong for people trying anal sex and dispel most of the negative press.

Continue reading “Common Causes of Anal Sex Problems”

Anal Sex and the Irresistible Urge to Poo

This article deals with the irresistible urge to poo. Most people experience this when they first start having anal sex. Here is how to stop or get past it. The irresistible urge to poo is seen as a problem for the inexperienced. It is at the center of a newbie’s concerned about making a mess (literally a mess) of things. However, it is also essential for opening up the inner anal sphincter (IAS), thereby avoiding straining the sphincter and a central source of great pain.

Continue reading “Anal Sex and the Irresistible Urge to Poo”

Anal Sex Training by Yourself

Benefits of anal sex training by yourself

There are lots of reasons why people want or should do anal sex training by themselves. Most will ‘suffer’ from modesty, anxiety, fears or some combination or those, that are the result of a lifetime of negative social programming. Others have experienced or anticipate pain and discomfort that they believe would be tolerable, or at least would spoil the sexual encounter. Some want to surprise a partner with the special ‘gift’ of giving their ass and want to be assured that it will be easy and without a lot of negotiations, discussions or experimentation. They want it to be a natural part of their sexual exploits and not be awkward.

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Total Colon Clean Out

Total Colon Clean Out for Serious Anal Sex

This article “Total colon clean out” is a detailed guide for cleaning out the entire length of the large intestine (Colon and Rectum) without using professional Hycolonic equipment. A process for anyone who is into anal depth play, klismaphilia, anal gaping and extened anal play. Anal sex activities over a period of many hours or even up to two days.

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Avoiding or Eliminating Anal Sex Pain

Avoid Anal Sex Pain

This is a hot topic even for people in the BDSM/Fetish communities

It is a common misconception that you cannot avoid pain from anal sex penetration and that anal sex inevitably hurts. The standard advice – Bad Advice – goes something like this;

“Use lube, lots of lube, relax and don’t worry about the initial pain. It will go away.”

This advice is not entirely incorrect. If you do choose to just keep persevering your body and mind will get the hang of it eventually and anal sex will become easy. It just doesn’t have to be that way.

Continue reading “Avoiding or Eliminating Anal Sex Pain”

What makes a good anal lube?

Good Anal Lube

There are literally 100’s of lubricants that you can use for anal sex. Some are advertised specifically for the purpose and tend to cost more consequently. But any number of personal lubricants, as well as bath and cooking oils can be very effective, others can be counter productive. For more information on how some common water based lubricants can be detrimental to women’s health in particular, I have pubilshed another article on the subject Stopping cystitis.

Notwithstanding the following :- (as at the beginning of 2013) – “Rectal use of lubricants is viewed by the [American FDA] as an “off-label” application—use at your own risk.”Chemical & Engineering News, Volume 90 Issue 50 | pp. 46-47. which is now 7 years old and based on data that is older, the issue for us is that anal lubricants are not FDA regulated. What I can say after maybe 2 decades of experimenting with different personal lubricants is that I believe I have found the best (for now).

Continue reading “What makes a good anal lube?”

Max Injector XL – anal lube shooter & enema syringe

Max Injector XL

The Max Injector XL is for those who want to inject a butt load of lube in a single shot and more effective for cleaning the arse for anal sex than the original Max Injector. When it comes to easy and pain free anal sex, lube injected into the anus is a must. But when it comes to finding a good lube shooter, the existing commercial products are basically rubbish. With the Max Products, I try to address specific needs for specialty products and source quality at a price that won’t disappoint.

Continue reading “Max Injector XL – anal lube shooter & enema syringe”

Our modern aversion to Anal Sex

People’s aversion to Anal Sex

Our aversion to anal sex, be it the “ick factor”, shame, embarrassment or “it’s just plain wrong”, is the biggest barrier to people enjoying anal sex. These emotional responses to the thought of anal sex is at the core of people’s unwillingness to even contemplate the act. In a modern, 1st world society, it may be hard to understand the reasons for these emotions. After all, in our modern, first world societies, gay relationships are now celebrated, although not by all. It must be know that the vast majority of gay relationships involve anal sex.

Continue reading “Our modern aversion to Anal Sex”

Which are the “right” soaps for “total colon clean”?

I must say, I have been meaning to add to that article, even make some changes based on further case studies and experiments. But to your question.

You want a mild soap. While I am still researching the science behind this, the gentleness of a soap is more affected by the choice of oils used. So claims of pH balanced etc. often are misguided assurances. That is because the vagina has a pH between 3.5 and 4.5, the human skin has a pH between 5 and 7 and none of that matters because the rectum has a pH of 7 to 8. That is to say that any ordinary soap is more likely to have a pH closer to the pH of the rectum/colon that a soap that is “pH balance” for human skin or women’s pussies. ( sic:- UNC Pharmacopedia – Rectal and Vaginal)

Down to specifics. One product that is very good is [FemFresh][]. This is an Australian product but other global soap maker will have an equivalent. Ignore the comments about it having a high pH (that is standard for soaps). The important statement is *”The hypoallergenic formula has been dermatologically and gynaecologically tested…”* and I can vouch for the products gentleness when it comes to the anus and rectum.

[Castile soaps][] are heralded by many enema enthusiast and I have to agree with them. Dr. Bronner (Another Australian product but use all over the world for enemas and therefor I must assume available all over the world) makes a range of [liquid Castile soaps][] with different essential oils added. The scent helps to neutralize the inevitable smell that accompanies the total colon clean out. Stay away from the astringent oils like peppermint, citrus and Eucalyptus (some love it but they like astringent agents up their ass). To keep things soothing, so you can use your anus and rectum of other activities without waiting for the irritation to pass, use lavender, baby mild or Rose. Dr. Bronner’s is great because it is highly concentrated so you only need a few drops (6 – 10) in a litre of water.

Finally, baby shampoo. Truely! It is readily available and dirt cheap. Basically any “No More Tears” formulation. If it won’t irritate a baby’s eyes it is not going to irritate the anus or rectum. I got DirtyGardenGirl onto this. She is one person who cannot afford to have chemical irritating her ass just before a performance.

Anal and Vaginal Stretching for Fisting

The trick to increasing muscle stretch is not measured in days or weeks but minutes. In Yoga, as with other physical disciplines like gymnastics and martial arts, the critical time period is three minutes or three minutes plus.

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Alcohol and Anal Sex

Mixing alcohol and anal sex

Every time the subject of using alcohol to help a bottom take a cock (consenting bottom), especially when the question relates to an anal sex virgin, neigh sayers descend on the forum discussion with all manor of outrageous claims propounding the dangers of mixing alcohol with anal sex. In the extreme the claims suggest using anyone using alcohol to easy anal penetration is a candidate for the Darwin Awards or, at the very least, a trip to the ER. From a clinical standpoint, nothing could be further from the truth and there is no justification for all the negativity.

Continue reading “Alcohol and Anal Sex”

How to stay safe with online dating

Women are being abducted from crowded public places far too regularly. Safe dating involves far more than just staying away from internet hookups. While women are most often in the press, this is good advice for anyone regardless of sexual identity.

Safe Dating suggestions:

  • Have a friend drop you at the meeting point. They can wait in the background. Make sure you are only meeting the 1 guy and the guy you believed you were meeting.
  • Waze, Viber and other social networking apps for smart phones will transmit your location on a map to any number of friends with the press of a single button.
  • Apple and most of the Android phones come with a phone finder service for when you loose your phone. That your friends can use to monitor you location without you taking any action at all.
  • Use a 3rd party app on your phone that is specifically design for others to keep track of where you are.
  • Use a 3rd party app that allows anyone you choose to be able to see what ever is in front of the phone’s camera, hear whatever the phone’s mic picks up and locate the phone on a map as long as the phone is turned on. This is the type of software the English New Papers got into trouble for using to spy on celebs. It doesn’t interfere with income or outgoing calls. There is no obvious signs the the phone is spying on every scene and snooping on every sound. Of course this might be sharing more than you want to share with your average friend.
  • Cloud based, auto backup services will store a copy in the cloud of any photo you take within seconds. Take a photo of the person you meet and within seconds there is a photo record of who you have met that they cannot delete or retrieve. The location and time of day will be recorded as well. Take a photo of any place you are taken. Take a photo even if the phone is in your pocket – you location and a time stamp is still backed up.

MOST IMPORTANT! – Make sure the person you meet is aware that you are using any or all of these methods to protect yourself. If they have ulterior motives you will not see them for the dust. These measures are to make sure that the people you meet are honest, not so that the police can track you (or the perpetrator) down after the fact – although they will do that too.

Ujjayi Breath for better sex

I can’t believe it is so hard to find a simple explanation of Ujjayi breath(ing). There is loads of information that talks about the spiritual links and nature and it origins. This article is about the mechanics of Ujjayi breathing for those who are just not into the spiritualism.

Before you start using Ujjayi Breath various situations to manage pain, alleviate discomfort or in your quest for greater sexual satisfaction, it is best to just practice the breathing technique on its own. The Ujjayi breath is typically done in association with asana practice. Asana is any posture useful for restoring and maintaining a persons well-being and improving the body’s flexibility and vitality. Primarily though, its origins are cultivating the ability to remain in seated meditation for extended periods.

Inhalation and exhalation are both done through the nose. An “ocean sound” is created by moving the glottis as air passes in and out. The length and speed of the breath is controlled by the diaphragm, the strengthening of which is, in part, the purpose of ujjayi. The inhalations and exhalations should be equal in duration, and are controlled in a manner that causes no distress to the practitioner. i.e. don’t strain to fill your lungs or empty them.

Ujjayi is a diaphragmatic breath. Keeping your chest still, you first fill the lower belly which pushes your belly out. Then rise to the lower rib cage and finally the upper chest and throat. When you lungs are full, hold your breath for a second or two. Don’t block your nasal passage with your tongue or pallet to hold the breath in, just hold your diaphragm and chest muscles in place. You should be able to allow small amounts of air to flow in and out if you wanted to.

When you breath out, let the air rush out at first (to make the ocean sound) and just let the breath slow to a stop at the end and relax with your lungs empty for a second or two. Again, don’t block the airways. Then start the cycle again..

Practice this in a comfortable sitting position with your eyes closed. No sooner than you think you are comfortable you will want to touch/scratch your nose or rub your eye or scratch your forehead. The idea is to breath through those moments and remain still. Focus on the breath flowing up through the top of your nasal passages and into the back of your throat in a big arc. Then back the other way. Listen to the “Ocean sound”. If you can’t feel it, imagine the air flowing up into your skull and your nasal passages opening.

The idea is to stay focused on your breath or breathing. As you relax you will start to daydream or maybe start pondering some part of the day or something you still need to do. Just slowly bring your thoughts back to your breathing as soon as you realise your mind is straying.

These are the mechanical and mental processes for a good Ujjayi breath. When you can breath through the itchy nose and other distracting sensations you will find that you can breath through all sorts of discomforts and even painful events.

It is a good way to wind down at the end of a day. It is basically a form of meditation in itself. Great way to relax before sex too.

Garden Hose Enema

Can you use a garden hose and is it possible to over fill yourself?

These are questions that arise again and again, most recently yesterday on FetLife. These question inevitably solicit all kinds of negative response from neigh-sayers that clearly have no personal experience and show a total lack of understand about the human body and biological functions.

Can you use a garden hose? – “Yes!” is the simple answer.
Is it without risks? – “No!” is the short answer.

Neigh-sayers make unqualified statements like;

  • It is not safe to use tap water pressure.
  • Using home water pressure is never a good idea.
  • The colon has no filters to detoxify like the stomach does.
  • Anything toxic you put IN THERE goes immediately to the blood.
  • Hoses are a bad idea – Rough edges, etc, etc, etc.

To all the claims about how bacteria and toxins, bad germs, no filter in the colon, etc, etc.. lets start with this: Man vs. Wild – Fetid water enema. Of course, Bear didn’t come up with this idea all on his lonesome. The first publicized survival story of the Family Robinson using contaminated water as a Murphy Drip is from 1978 – Shipwrecked for 38 days.

It is common medical knowledge that when liquid is introduced into the colon, its membrane allows the water to pass through it into the bloodstream. But here is the point to note: The lining of the colon is a membrane. That is a biological/medical/chemistry term for FILTER.

The wall of the colon is in fact a very effective and complex filter. The colon also has mechanisms to override the effects of osmosis which is why it can extract critical trace elements and salts from its contents while blocking toxins. If tap water was so toxic so as to be dangerous to put it up your ass the water supply would be condemned and shut off. If you can drink it you can put it up your ass.

Now to the question of water pressure. Statements like: “It is not safe to use tap water pressure… “ and “… never a good idea” are outrageous overstatements. That is not to say there are no concerns. You can hurt yourself if you act like a fool. However, there are number of aspects about your anus and rectum that makes it very difficult to “over fill” yourself and the water pressure from the average household tap is not going to blast a hole in the sidewall of your rectum.

The Max Shower Enema Systems (pictured here) are a standard piece of kit for many enema enthusiasts. Along with any number of home brew, high colonic rigs, shower enema shots are sold by the thousands if not 10’s or 100’s of thousands. You can find the more basic types in drug stores, pharmacies and virtually any adult store. They are supplied with the same standard disclaimers and warning as any other “Adult toy”. They do not come with any specific warning about the tap water pressure or anything similar.

I have not found any consumer protection authority that singled out these products in any way. The only case of death by garden hose enema that I do know of involved two young boys who thought it would be fun to keep squirting water up a pig’s ass to see if they could get water to come out of the pigs mouth. They did not manage to get the water to come out the pigs mouth but they did manage to kill the pig. All the other stories I have heard to date remain hearsay with no corroborating authoritative reports. In fact, the only references to any cases of enema causing perforation of the bowel are the result of underlying medical conditions and occurred in Hospital administered enemas.

When compared to the dangers of playing with knives and needles, as others do in the various BDSM, Kink and RACK activities, the edges on a garden hose are pretty innocuous. People stick things up there ass like Matchbox cars, bicycle handles, hair brushes, shampoo bottles (and not just the rounded ones) all the time, with no ill effects. If it hurts, then stop. You wouldn’t stab yourself in the ass with a knife and it is a lot harder and more painful to do it with a bit of plastic or rubberised hose.

I am not saying that enema’s from garden hoses (nor any other type of enema) is risk free. The sage advice is “Listen to your body” and take it slowly till you have an idea of what your body can take.

There are record cases of people who have over filled their colon (as rare as they are) and an enema being forced into the small intestine. In order to achieve this a retention nozzle was required so that the enema simply cannot come out the anus as the pressure built up. Before there is enough pressure to force an emena into the small intestine there is immense cramping and a painful sense of fullness. If all this can be ignored and the enema does enter the small intestine the recorded results are extreme nausea and vomiting. You would then have to ignore all of this for it to become life threatening.

It is simply not easy to overfill with an enema of any sort.

I have published a couple of articles on enemas starting with Issues with Enemas – Good and Bad but for a really great source of information from an active on-line community check out Zity.Biz

Effects of Playing with Butt Plugs

Effects of Playing with Butt Plugs

A question from FetLife

Questions surrounding the effects of playing with, or wearing, butt plugs tends to be a bit of a hot topic. This question was sent to me on FetLIfe out of frustration regarding all the misinformation out there. The weary web  surfer couldn’t find a straight answer to their questions about playing with butt plugs and any post they made was quickly overrun by neigh sayers and fear mongers. I feel this is information that the broader community would be interested in so I have posted the question and my answer here.

The question about playing with butt plugs

Sachsen, Germany

Dear Max,

“I’m writing to you as you are the owner of the group Anal 101. To me it seems like you cover a lot of topics in that group. Maybe you can Please help me with my question …

In Germany we got an online platform called We talk a lot there, but there is always so much fear involved. If it comes to wearing butt plugs for an extended time, immediately there are those people who shout out loud that you will get incontinent from just playing with plugs.

My question: Do you know of a group here in fetlife or maybe even a topic in the group Anal 101 which covers that fear? A group which discusses the effects of playing with plugs (more often than an average person would do)?

I am hoping to find a group which is not just filled with those who scream first but got no real story to tell. Most of the people just say that it is potentially harmful but don’t give any source for their opinion.

Thank you =) for your time.” – [annon]

New South Wales, Australia

Hi [annon],

I am sad to say there is no group on FetLife, or anywhere else, I have found that is not filled with people going on and on about matters they have no knowledge of. More often than not you find people full of their own self-righteousness, pushing their own form of morality, politics or religion (or lack there of) and others who are just completely self absorbed with their own self importance with no regard for how it may effects others.

The other problem is that internet communities are nothing much more then a talk fests (blogs) anyway and there are so many that feel the need to make their presence felt by filling the internet with random, unchecked commentary. Furthermore, the webmasters or hosts of most networking sites do not concern themselves with capturing or maintaining valuable information, let alone filtering out the rubbish. It is not within their purview.

These are the reasons that prompted me to spend the time setting up Anal 101. I quickly realised I had a problems with relying on the Hosts of FetLife to protect the information I was collecting. That resulted in me setting up

Investigating the effects of playing with butt plugs

Let me see if I can address your underlying question directly. I have found a couple of small studies on the long term consequences of Anal Sex which have all concluded the same;

e.g. “There were no IAS or EAS defects, as well as no fecal incontinence, in our subjects.” – Department of Medicine, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, Pennsylvania, USA

The Pittsburgh study is very small, so it is fair to say that it has limited clinical/scientific value, when considered in isolation. However, even a study that only included 14 anoreceptive people with zero measurable negative affects tells us there are no direct negative effects to the anus caused by participating daily in anal sex.

The following is a statistical analysis of the Pittsburgh study. When a small study has a negative result like this, it is not possible to conclude that there are no direct negative consequence from long term anoreceptive behavior. If it turned out that there is a 50:% chance that anal sex caused problems, the odds of this study drawing a complete blank is less than 1 in 10,000. If there is a 20% chance that regular anal sex had a negative impact on the asshole, the chances that the Pittsburgh study would fail to detect this is less than a 1 in 20.

Assuming that anal sex can cause damage to the asshole, we can conclude that the odds of any negative impact must be less than 1 in 5 over a life time.

Basic to very large Butt Plugs

However, these studies do not exist in isolation. Add to this study what we know about the behavior of many thousands of people (which we can call case studies) that show no long term ill effects of constantly wearing butt plugs for extended periods of time. Then add to this our knowledge of human biology and anatomy which gave us kegel exercises. Many of these exercises involve inserting weighted rods and balls into either the vagina or anus to reverse or prevent muscular atrophy and loss of muscle control. i.e. they help the ares not hurt it.

To add to all this, no butt plug manufacturer has ever been sued over the use or design of their products. They have never been force to add anything other than general health warnings to their marketing material or packaging. Nor has there ever been any medical report or health warning in any reputable forum on the negative consequences caused by  wearing butt plugs or other insertables for extended periods.


Combining all of the knowledge we have;

  • The small studies on anal sex showed absolutely no negative impacts from the practice
  • there have been no substantiated, reputable reports that link the use of butt plugs with anal issues
  • you have thousands of people who have reported no problems with their personal experience
  • in the past three years I have only see one person claim to have personally had a negative consequence and they could not rule out that it was cause by other factors/behavior
  • The negative commentary is hearsay (third person commentary on what they heard or believed that someone else said or did).

I would not go so far as to say you cannot damage your asshole playing with butt plugs, it would just be an extraordinary case. It would involve ignoring a lot of pain that which would be serving as a warning of things going wrong.

So the answer to your question about finding a group is no, but I hope this helps.  However, if you want to canvas people by posting something in Anal 101 I will support that and if you would like to join and invite others to do the same I could probably establish a special interest group or discussion [here] as well.

Play safe.


Enema Issues Good and Bad

There are a number of debates that keep resurfacing about the benefits of and/or damage from regular use (or any use) of enemas. Enema issues, good and bad, range from the enema being a detoxifying cure all to enemas causing the destruction of the digestive and immune systems on the other side. And there are the claims of an irreversible dependency that comes from repeated enemas.

There are 9 enema issues that this article addresses directly. They are:

Continue reading “Enema Issues Good and Bad”

Eating and Enemas for Clean Anal Sex

Gastrointestinal tract

Clean Anal Sex

Most people want to know what needs to be done to keep anal sex clean. While some are not concerned about it becoming dirty, most need to be confident it won’t get brown and smelly. This is especially important to receivers, mostly. Without that confidence they cannot relax mentally. It doesn’t just spoil any chances of enjoying the activity, anxiety is a sure fire path to making anal sex painful for the receiver. For more information on that topic, go to Avoiding Anal Sex Pain.

Continue reading “Eating and Enemas for Clean Anal Sex”

Stopping cystitis (update: Jan 2020)

There is a large percentage of the female population (and a minute percentage of the male population) that are chronic sufferers of Cystitis. Wouldn’t it be good if stopping cystitis was as easy as drinking more water?

Drink Water

For those who are chronic sufferers of UTI’s, the first thing you must take a close look at is your water intake. Medical professionals will tell you that coffee, tea and other beverages either don’t count or at least are a poor substitute for water. You must look at your water intake.

I have had two long term partners in my life that suffered chronic UTI’s. Any number of things would trigger a UTI; stress, lack of sleep, the wrong pair of pants or nickers. Sexual intercourse was guaranteed to trigger a UTI. Don’t imagine we didn’t extensively eliminate my hygiene as a factor. I submitted to years of Brazilian waxing and finally ten sessions of Brazilian laser treatment to eliminate my pubic hair as a potential irritant and haven for germs. Showers with antibacterial soaps and even using antibacterial gels on my hands and my genital before any sexual contact. None of these actions seemed to make any difference.

When it came right down to it, increasing their water intake during the day help tremendously. Even if they thought they were drinking enough, a UTI was a clear indication that they did drink enough water. But while it helped to prevent UTI’s from normal daily activities it, still was not a solution for the UTI’s that followed sexual intercourse.

After you have eliminate the usual suspects try Vaseline

Female genitals detail

After years of searching for answers with the first of these partners, we virtually stumbled on the first solution – Vaseline. Without fail, using Vaseline on the vulva and urethral opening prevented the occurrence of UTI’s after sexual intercourse. We also discovered that fucking with a good dose of Vaseline on my cock would suppress the stinging and burning sensations associated with a UTI.

It goes without saying, as long term partners, we were fluid bonded and subsequently, not using condoms. I have no medical or scientific journal I can direct you to on this particular practice, but it is clear that the Vaseline worked as a barrier to stop the inflamed or irritated vaginal tissue rubbing against itself. It probably help to suffocate the microbials. Most things cannot survive covered in petroleum jelly. The initial penetration was not the most comfortable, but I was as careful as I could be and the resulting relief made it well worth while.

What about other lubricants?

Since the first publication of this article back in March 2014, there has been a stead increase in the promotion (by sexologist and doctors in general) on supplementing vaginal lubrication and not just in menopausal women. When it come to advice on anal sex it is one of the first points raised. Yet I am yet to see any of that advice being qualified as it should be.

There are very recent studies that Raise Questions About Safety Of Personal Lubricants (sic 2012). The focus of these studies relate to STD and HIV in particular, but the report states “… experiments carried out in recent years have indicated that some of the products might be smoothing the way for disease transmission.” and the report sites “In 2002, however, a Phase II/III clinical trial of a nonoxynol-9 vaginal gel ….. actually increased the risk of HIV infection in the sex workers tested…”. This of course applies to lubricants and spermicides on condoms. So any women insisting on using condoms to avoid contracting a UTI from sexual intercourse could, under certain circumstances, be aggravating the problem.

Understanding that the Vaseline was forming a hygroscopic barrier, we subsequently started trialing Silicon Lubricants which provided equally effective. Switching to any type of water base lube or attempting to do without the silicone lube during sexual activities resulted in the instant return of UTI’s. Understand that this is what is called anecdotal evidence.

As far as I have been able to determine, all the reports on lubricants promoting the transmission of infection are limited to water based lubricants, but that is not specifically stated in any report that I have managed to track down. It has also been shown that not all water based lubricants have this negative effect.

As of January 2020, I have tracked down two sibling water based lubricants that appear (anecdotal evidence, worth investigating for yourself) that certainly do not promote UTIs as we (my partner and I) use these all the time now without the return of UTI’s

Still, if you are not using any lubricant during sex and you are suffering from post-coitus UTI’s, you should consider using a silicon, petroleum or mineral oil as prophylactic lubricant. These will all create a hygroscopic barrier which should hinder any body fluids and bacteria making their way up your urethra. I cannot back this statement with any specific scientific research, but the science is sound on this as a UTI preventative measure and it is backed by an increasing number of case studies I do have personal experience with.

My current partner suffered UTI’s after sex for years with her previous partner. As soon as I became aware of her susceptibility to UTI’s (that was after the second time we had intercourse) out came the Silicon lube again. Problem solved. No issues for three years now (at the original time of writing and now eight years including the use of my Max Lube).

Let’s face it, if you are a chronic sufferer of UIT’s, you have very little to lose and much to gain by increasing your water intake (no matter what it currently is) and try out my water base of silicone lubes whether or not you use condoms for safe sex.

Female Cum & Ejaculation – fact not fiction & not pee

Female Cum & Ejaculation:
– Introduction –

Female ejaculation is still a fiercely debated phenomenon. Some women (and their partners) are seriously bothered by the thought of “gushing” or “squirting” and horribly embarrassed when it does happen to them. The concern usually stems from the incorrect belief that anything more than a bit of moisture which arises during sexual arousal, to facilitate penetration, must be urine.

Now there are women who do loose bladder control when they climax which is not really squirting or gushing, it is far better described as leaking. I also know there are many who say “… and so what!”, but there are many others who are just not into water sports and when they “gush” or “ejaculate” (as opposed to leaking) this can seriously spoil their enjoyment of what is surely some excellent sex. This is because the only way to stop the wetness is for the woman to stop enjoying what they are doing. This is completely misguided and unnecessary.

Female Cum & Ejaculation:
– Peeing, Squirting, Gushing and Ejaculating

There are a couple of reasons why some people find it hard to believe that a woman can ejaculate, not the least of which is the porn industry’s “Squirting Women” genre, in which women are most often filmed spraying “pee” all over the place at the moment of “climax”. It should also be noted that it is standard practice to inject a saline solution into the balder rather like they would do in during a cystoscopy. So in the case of many porn films it is not even urine. It is much more convenient injecting fluid into a woman’s bladder directly than waiting for the human bodies ability to produce urine.

Cystoscopy process
Cystoscopy with saline solution injected

In between the concepts of peeing (which could be leaking or squirting) and ejaculating there is also gushing. Again the porn industry makes no distinction between gushing and squirting (which are depictions of peeing in almost every instance) and so the term gushing is also hijacked by the porn industry leaving the unwitting population believing that any wet patch left by a woman must be urine. It’s just isn’t so.

Female Cum & Ejaculation:
– What is it and where does it come from?

So to make a specific distinction between urine and female “cum”, what we are speaking of is actually the standard/normal lubricant (mucus) the vagina produces when a woman is sexually aroused.

Female cross-section

Shown here is a rather classic diagram used to discuss the female reproductive system and sexuality. You have probably seen hundreds just like this. But it doesn’t even show, let alone highlight, where the female “cum” comes from. There are four internal glands that will never show up on a center-line cross-section like this because they are not on the center-line. They are positioned on either side of the vagina. Two at the front on either side and two at the back (on either side).

let me say that on various occasions (but not all) every woman I have been with has “gushed”. It makes me extremely happy when I see a big wet patch on the bed and its not me. It’s is a sure fire sign of how much the woman enjoyed our intimate time. And kind of flips the scales in the argument over who should sleep on the wet patch.

But, while any woman can gush, not all can ejaculate. Gushing (lubricant) comes from two different glans and their associated ducts in and around the entrance to the vagina. You can see these, the openings of the ducts, on this close-up the the female’s genitals.

Female Genitals
Female Genitals

The first source of gushing “cum” is the Batholin’s Gland which every woman has. You can see the opening of the left Batholin’s Gland which is circled in the image a little to the rear of the vaginal opening. There is another the same on the right side of the vagina.

The Skene’s gland is considered to be responsible for female ejaculation, but its anatomy varies greatly in every woman. Here it can be clearly seen just to the left of the urethral opening. In some women the Skenes glands drains into the urethra itself, which has reinforced the belief that it is pee. In some women it appears to be completely absent and would add to the argument that it is a complete myth.

If a woman has a healthy Skene’s gland that is well connected to her g-spot and clitoris and the conditions are just right (when her muscles contract or the penetration is just right and the exit of the ducts is not being cover by the labia) the glands will squirt girl juice like little syringes. They literally ejaculate fluid and it is just as convenient to call it girl cum.

Here are a couple of Wiki links you can check out that go into more clinical detail.

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Learning to enjoy anal sex


Learning to enjoy anal sex is an issue that comes up again and again. If you are not into anal you may be asking why should you? Those who are into anal are asking why not? Those who want to please or share this experience with their partner are asking how can I?

So far, I am yet to see this subject addressed effectively. I see a lot of quick advice that lack any explanatory depth and only deal with one aspect or another. Some focus on one practice technique or another or they provide blind pieces of advice saying use more lube, taking it slower and just relax. All of which are good pieces of advice but not helpful it you believe your are already doing these things. Furthermore, this type of advice is treating symptoms and not addressing the root cause of many people’s discomfort.

Continue reading “Learning to enjoy anal sex”