Max Injector XL – anal lube shooter & enema syringe

Max Injector XL

The Max Injector XL is for those who want to inject a butt load of lube in a single shot and more effective for cleaning the arse for anal sex than the original Max Injector. When it comes to easy and pain free anal sex, lube injected into the anus is a must. But when it comes to finding a good lube shooter, the existing commercial products are basically rubbish. With the Max Products, I try to address specific needs for specialty products and source quality at a price that won’t disappoint.

Continue reading “Max Injector XL – anal lube shooter & enema syringe”

Our modern aversion to Anal Sex

People’s aversion to Anal Sex

Our aversion to anal sex, be it the “ick factor”, shame, embarrassment or “it’s just plain wrong”, is the biggest barrier to people enjoying anal sex. These emotional responses to the thought of anal sex is at the core of people’s unwillingness to even contemplate the act. In a modern, 1st world society, it may be hard to understand the reasons for these emotions. After all, in our modern, first world societies, gay relationships are now celebrated, although not by all. It must be know that the vast majority of gay relationships involve anal sex.

Continue reading “Our modern aversion to Anal Sex”

Anal Sex Anatomy – An illustrated explanation

An illustrated explanation of Anal Sex Anatomy

This article is under development. When it reaches a point that it has a coherent structure and flow, I will unlock the post. Until then, registered members of MaxPrivate.net are able to watch my ramblings evolve.

Anal Sex Anatomy – Sections of the Large Intestine

Anal Sex Anatomy - Large Intestine Main Features
Large Intestine Features

It is worth know about all the section of the large intestine when it comes to anal sex anatomy. While for most people anal sex is only about getting an average human penis through the anus and into the rectum, for most there are many questions and concerns about cleaning the ass out and how far you have to go to get it “clean”. Then there are other who are into depth play either with toys or a human hand (sic. elbow deep fisting and beyond). So this first illustration names the main features of the large intestine. As you read in more depth on various subject, you might want/need to come back to this illustration to get an understanding of what bit is what.

Anal Sex Anatomy - Colon_Dimensions
Guide to Colon Dimensions

Anal Sex Anatomy - anorectal detail
Anorectal Detail

Anal Sex Anatomy - anorectal features
Anorectal Features

Anal Sex Anatomy - Anus and Rectum detail
Anorectal Features Detailed

Anal Sex Anatomy - Male abdominal X-section
Male abdominal cross-section

Anal Sex Anatomy - Female abdominal X-section
Female abdominal cross-section

Hi @tyerion. First up your pubo-rectal sling is not the issue. It is located about 1 inch in at the junction or the anus and rectum and forms a part of the muscle group that constitutes your Inner and Outer anal sphincters ( see:- [puborectalis muscle][http://www.studydroid.com/imageCards/0a/lf/card-11189363-back.jpg]).

https://fetlife.com/groups/4362/group_posts/8295687

Deep Throat – Dealing with the gag reflex

Dealing with the Gag Reflex

Deep throat training is really the purview of the throatee and so this article is written as guidance for the receiver (receiver of the phallus not the receiver of the head job). But it is not a bad idea for the throater to know what the throatee is going through, especially when it comes to hygiene so that is where we will start.

Continue reading “Deep Throat – Dealing with the gag reflex”

Alcohol and Anal Sex

Is it good to mix alcohol and anal sex?

Every time I see the subject of deliberately using alcohol to help a bottom take a cock, especially when the question relates to an anal sex virgin, neigh sayers descend on the forum discussion propounding the dangers of mixing alcohol with anal sex. Their rather outrageous claim is that anyone using alcohol to easy the path to anal penetration is a candidate for the Darwin Awards or, at the very least, a trip to the ER. From a clinical standpoint, nothing could be further from the truth and there is no justification for all the negativity  Continue reading “Alcohol and Anal Sex”

Safe Dating

Women are being abducted from crowded public places far too regularly. Safe dating involves far more than just staying away from internet hookups. While women are most often in the press, this is good advice for anyone regardless of sexual identity.

Safe Dating suggestions:

  • Have a friend drop you at the meeting point. They can wait in the background. Make sure you are only meeting the 1 guy and the guy you believed you were meeting.
  • Waze, Viber and other social networking apps for smart phones will transmit your location on a map to any number of friends with the press of a single button.
  • Apple and most of the Android phones come with a phone finder service for when you loose your phone. That your friends can use to monitor you location without you taking any action at all.
  • Use a 3rd party app on your phone that is specifically design for others to keep track of where you are.
  • Use a 3rd party app that allows anyone you choose to be able to see what ever is in front of the phone’s camera, hear whatever the phone’s mic picks up and locate the phone on a map as long as the phone is turned on. This is the type of software the English New Papers got into trouble for using to spy on celebs. It doesn’t interfere with income or outgoing calls. There is no obvious signs the the phone is spying on every scene and snooping on every sound. Of course this might be sharing more than you want to share with your average friend.
  • Cloud based, auto backup services will store a copy in the cloud of any photo you take within seconds. Take a photo of the person you meet and within seconds there is a photo record of who you have met that they cannot delete or retrieve. The location and time of day will be recorded as well. Take a photo of any place you are taken. Take a photo even if the phone is in your pocket – you location and a time stamp is still backed up.

MOST IMPORTANT! – Make sure the person you meet is aware that you are using any or all of these methods to protect yourself. If they have ulterior motives you will not see them for the dust. These measures are to make sure that the people you meet are honest, not so that the police can track you (or the perpetrator) down after the fact – although they will do that too.

30 min Colon Clean Out

Preamble

This article has been published to help a member of FetLife who came to me for assistance with a specific situational problem. The home is not conducive to using enemas (shared accommodation). They get away to their playmate’s place for the weekend but they don’t want to waste a good portion of Friday evening preparing following a three hour drive from work. In fact they don’t want to waste a second. So her ass has to be clean by the time she gets there and that is usually 6 or 7 hours after her lunch break, the only opportunity she has to clean out (bummer). So Friday lunch is the only opportunity which she can sort out for a serious enema and that only gives her about 30 mins, So….

The 30 min Colon Clean Out

Colon_Dimensions
Guide to Colon Dimensions

When time is of the essence, the most important point is not to start with a large volume enema. You need to work up to it. When you are in a hurry the very last thing you want to do is to push any gas and/or solids backwards up your rectum and colon. When you are in a hurry it is extremely tempting to push as much fluid as fast as possible up your ass to get the cleaning process going, but that is guaranteed to push stuff backwards and that will cause stoppages and cramping when you try to expel. It will completely derail your efforts to be fast. Slow and steady wins the race. To help avoid pushing stuff the wrong way, always stand up or be vertical when filling. Don’t use positions or techniques to “help” the enema go in. If it doesn’t go in easily, if you feel cramps or pressure, you know that the fluid is pushing up against either gas or solids. It is not a problem if the fluid goes past solids (as long as they are not carried up the wrong way int he process) but if it is pushed past gas the gas often causes a vapor lock. There will be lots of cramping on the way out and nothing comes back past it in a hurry. Since there is no way to know if the pressure is from a gas pocket or a solid mass you have to take the approach that it is gas. You don’t have the time wait for your colon to shift a gas pocket that is preventing stuff getting past or out.

Step 1 – Empty the rectum

Anus and Rectum detail
Anus and Rectum Details

Start with a very small amount of warm water. You don’t need to use a enema bag for this step. If might be easier/quicker is you use an enema bulb syringe. You must use warm water to help relax the muscles. The warmer the better but don’t scald your ass. 100ml or 1 oz, just to help empty the rectum of any solids or gas quickly. 1 squirt and 1 squat should only take a minute.

Step 2 – Flush the rectum

Next is a quick flush of the rectum. Depending on your anatomy you will need 300-500ml to fill the rectum. Using enema bottles or syringes can be problematic as you are likely to go too fast or too far. Take it slow is the key and stop if you feel any cramping or pressure. You have either reached the top of the rectum or you have encountered more solids or gas. Solids or gas might have descended when you squatted the first time or you may not have emptied the rectum entirely with the first squat. Regardless, stop and squat when you feel the pressure. A fart at the end of the squat is always a good sign. Gas is your enemy and you want it out.

Step 3 – Empty the Sigmoid Colon

Third step is to clean out the sigmoid and even the descending colon. That does not mean filling them with water. If you didn’t get to 500ml (or a pint) on the last step you should be able to get there now, but it is OK if you don’t. The program is much the same as before – don’t push it and make sure the water flow is slow! It should take about 1 min to take 500ml. And if it goes in without any resistance, no more than 1 qt – 1 ltr. Warm water as always. Fill yourself as before, until you feel the pressure or cramping. Don’t keep filling beyond this point even if you don’t seem to have got any further than last time, but this time don’t expel right away.

You have to hold it, without adding any more water, until the cramp or pressure passes. You will feel your insides relax dramatically. Then you should find it easy to hold for a couple of minutes. If the pressure/cramps start again, try to hold it till the feeling passes. Now sit, don’t squat. Drop your knees below your hips, sit up and arch back a little to help straighten out your lower bowel. Try to control the expulsion so that it is more of a release than a push.

When the flow stops or peters out to a dribble, deliberately clench your anus to stop (wipe) and stand up. Stretch, arch your back, twist your torso and use your stomach muscles to push your belly out. If you can, walk around for a minute. Softly “smooth” your hands over your belly in circular motions. Now sit in a more regular toilet position, knees up high, in a proper squatting position if you can and give it a push to see what more you can get out. Give it at least a minute.

This will have taken you up to the 10 min mark or there abouts.

Step 4 – Empty the colon

Now it is time for the 2 quarts – warm water. It should be taken slowly. This is why it is often said that an enema bag should not be hung higher than your shoulder or head height. The water should flow easily without any resistance until it reaches the top of the descending colon. At this point you might feel some amount of pressure or a subtle cramping – Somewhere between 1 pnt/500ml to 1 qrt/1 ltr. The pressure might be quite consistent. As long as it is a small amount and doesn’t keep building up, keep letting the water flow in. You might even notice the water flow stops briefly when you feel this pressure. If the pressure keeps building up as it did before then stop, as you did before. Hold it as in the last step. Follow the same release pattern as above and the start step 4 again.

If you did feel any resistance, it will pass once you get more than half the water in. Keep filling slowly. It should take three (3) or more minutes before all the water is inside. You should be able to hold it quite easily. Hold it for several minutes (up to 5 mins.). Rub your belly gently smoothing the palms of your hands over the surface in circular motions.

When you sit, assume the upright sitting arched back slightly with knees dropped. Try to let it flow rather then push. When the flow slows to a trickle. Stop! No matter how hard it is to stop, STOP! Wipe, stand up for a minute and then sit again. If you feel a cramp coming on… STOP! Squeeze your anus no matter how hard it is to do that when all you want to do is push past the cramping. Wipe, stand up and the cramp will settle very quickly. Then resume your seat.

Being blunt, the tail end of the evacuation will be muddy, smelly and if you have done a good job, punctuated by any small pocket of gas that was hiding high up in your colon. As the water flows out the gas always rises to the top, so it is the last bit to come out.

Now you are going to be at the 20 min mark.

Step 5 – Clean out

There are two ways to go from here. After Step 4 your colon will be empty but there will be traces of stuff throughout its length. You have about 10 mins left to either focus on making the rectum really clean for your play time, which is still hours away, or you can repeat Step 4 and give your whole colon another flush to reduce the amount of residue in there which means (to be squeaky clean during play later in the evening) you will need to give you rectum a quick flush with a small amount of warm water just before play, or at least when you get to your playmate.

If this is absolutely your last opportunity to get to the toilet or clean yourself in any way, then you have to work your way backwards from the Sigmoid colon down. I can suggest different volumes of water but it is an individual thing. With experience you will get to know your capacity for each section of your colon. Unfortunately, that come with trial and error. To fill your rectum, Sigmoid and at least the lower part of the descending colon is going to take about 1 pint. Maybe 500 ml or you might take up to 800 ml. What is most important is not to start filling up the Transverse colon again. Take the warm water slowly but as soon as you are ready sit and expel. Use the upright positioning and release, don’t push. Sit for a minute to make sure it has drained out.

Now go back to smaller volumes. This is where a large enema bulb syringe comes in handy again. You just want to repeatedly squirt about 250 lm of warm water into your rectum and release it. Sit for a minute to make sure it has drained. Keep doing that till the expelled water comes out clear.

Another method of just flushing your rectum that would be faster depends greatly on circumstances and if you have a long nozzle on your enema bag. You can try filling your bag with warm water, judge when you have allowed about 250 ml of water to flow in and then without removing the nozzle start expelling. Literally flush your rectum by letting the water flow out your ass while it is flowing in through the nozzle. It is just an additional idea. Usually people do this type of thing in the shower or even with a Shower Shot enema attachment.

Finally

Your colon is very good at extracting water but it doesn’t do it “mindlessly”. As good as you colon is at recovering water its job is to keep a good balance. When it fails to keep the balance you get constipated or diarrhea. Fill your colon with water, just once, it will trigger a compensatory response from your colon that will last hours (if not days). As long as there are no pockets of water you left in your colon, your colon will suck itself dry. If you can get you finger in your ass without lube you will find that it is very tacky inside. Another good reason why lube is necessary and a lot of it. Any residue that was left higher up in the colon will be immobilized by the dry, tacky conditions. Even hours after you enema program you will be good for hours of play. Even depth play.

Anal Sex Training by Yourself

Anal Sex Training by Yourself

Why anal sex training by yourself?

There are lots of reasons why people want or should do anal sex training by themselves. Most will ‘suffer’ from modesty, anxiety, fears or some combination or those, that are the result of a lifetime of negative social programming. Others have experienced or anticipate pain and discomfort that they believe would be tolerable, or at least would spoil the sexual encounter. Some want to surprise a partner with the special ‘gift’ of giving their ass and want to be assured that it will be easy and without a lot of negotiations, discussions or experimentation. They want it to be a natural part of their sexual exploits and not be awkward. Continue reading “Anal Sex Training by Yourself”

Anal Sex and the Irresistible Urge to Poo

Anal Sex and the Irresistible Urge to Poo

How to Stop or cope with the irresistible urge to poo is a common question raised by Newbies to anal sex. The irresistible urge to poo is seen as a problem for the inexperienced who are concerned about making a mess (literally a mess) of things. However, it is also essential for opening up the inner anal sphincter (IAS) and thereby avoid straining the sphincter which can be a source of great pain.

Enemas for Irresistible urge to Poo

This is the primary reason why so many who indulge in anal sex or anal play insist on cleaning their ass with an enema before they begin. Dirty or clean anal is all a question of degrees. At one end of the scale are those who say there is no way of eliminating every last bacterium from the anal canal so it is never clean. At the other end of the scale there are those who say “If you can’t see anything its clean enough and by the way I wear a blindfold.”

A good enema gives people the confidence that nothing is going to get shitty regardless of the sensations they experience. So cleaning your ass out guarantees the irresistible urge to poo is not caused by poo. There is a MaxPrivate article that specifically deals with Eating and Enemas for Clean Anal Sex to provide you with that confidence. But if it is not poo causing the irresistible urge to poo then what is it? Here I deal with why you get the urge, how you can use it to your advantage and how you can overcome it.

What causes the Irresistible urge to Poo?

irresistible urge to poo - Parasympathetic_Nervous_System
Click for full size image

So what causes the irresistible urge to poo? There are a particular bunch of nerves in your rectum that are part of the enteric nervous system (ENS).  These neural receptors in the wall of the rectum react to pressure and stretching. These receptors are connected back to the spinal cord but their signals are not passed up to the brain, so your brain is unaware (which is to say, you are not be aware) of any stretching or pressure these nerves detect in the rectal walls. Instead, these rectal receptors trigger motor neurons that relax your inner anal sphincter (IAS) directly. It is the relaxing of the IAS and pressure on the anus that your “Brain” feels. The “urge to poo” is your conscious becoming aware that something is opening the exit.

irresistible urge to poo - IAS_and_EAS
IAS_and_EAS detail

Because there is no connection from your brain to the motor neurons that hold your IAS shut you cannot consciously hold the IAS shut. While you cannot control the IAS and your brain never “feels” the nerves in your rectum being simulated (in the normal sense), you can feel the IAS relaxing and other sensations caused by movement in your bowels. That is what the conscious mind equates to the need to defecate.

Normally, when you feel the need to defecate  your conscious mind reacts immediately, tightening the Outer Anal Sphincter (OAS) to hold the back door shut until you get to the toilet. In a normal state, when you don’t need to defecate, the IAS provides up to 85% of the closing force on your anus. For most people, even when they consciously clench their ass (tighten the OAS) as best as they can, it is still no where near as good at keeping your anus shut as the IAS.

Using the Irresistible urge to Poo

To make anal sex/play easy you actually want the IAS to let go. This is why you need to be confident that there is nothing waiting to come out. You need to know it is only that which is being stuffed in that is causing the IAS to relax and your inexperienced brain equating that as an irresistible urge to poo.

To make the IAS relax you need to get something in your rectum to put pressure on the walls and stretch them. That is why it is so important for the inexperienced to have their ass played with before penetration. At the same time you don’t want your conscious mind to be tightening the OAS just as you are getting the IAS to relax. You will go from straining the IAS to straining the OAS. It all feels just like any pain you get from straining muscles.

So making sure you are clean before you start means you can go with the irresistible urge to poo knowing these is no poo there. Let your ass open. When you feel the irresistible urge to poo start consciously pushing out just like you are trying to poo. That opens the OAS and that cock or toy will slide right in. To take bigger things up your ass you actually don’t want to relax at all, you want to push like you are going to do a big shit. Most people will take 8 inches balls deep on the first push by doing that, but it takes metal practice.

When the Irresistible urge to Poo is too much

This is where plugs are particularly useful training tools as they train your consciousness to accept bulbous things in your rectum and let your OAS relax along with the IAS.

With anal experience everyone’s consciousness learns that the loosening of the IAS does not always equate to poo. It doesn’t take very long before you anus starts winking and relaxing in anticipation of penetration and the pleasures to come.

Anal training after a bad incident

Anal training after a bad incident

Anal training is at the core of this thread from FetLife. I felt this was worthy of preservation and that cannot be guaranteed if I leave it up to FetLife.

LittlePetMolly

Training after bad incident

by LittlePetMolly 7 months ago

Hey all, I’m hoping someone can help me.

I would like to begin anal training (I’ve actually done a little bit already) to please my boyfriend. The idea itself is arousing, however the trouble is, I have a slight history with abuse especially with anal. Everything usually is fine, the thoughts, arousals, and prep, but when it comes to actually doing it, all I can think of is how much it had hurt and how terrifying that one experience was and so I stop it all right then and there, right before insertion.

So basically I need to get past a mental and in the worst way. We certainly go incredibly slow and gentle and stop when necessary, but I just can’t get past this. Please help, I would like to be able to do this.

(Also this will be posted in the group dedicated to those dealing with trauma)
Not Following Discussion ()

Responses (9 of 9)

My wife/sub has dealt with trauma very similar to what you describe. In the beginning she was terrified at just it being brought up. Now she is still nervous and afraid up until penetration is complete once she is fully penetrated and her muscles have relaxed enough for movement. Usually she begins to have an orgasm as soon as movement starts! We started slow just fingers along with oral stimulation. We moved at her pace (with a few pushes from me as well) and have taken 2&1/2 yrs to get here. Sure you want to please your partner, if you guys take your time you can make anal the icing on the cake for both of you. Always remember good lube and plenty of it is your best friend

P S one way to look at the emotional side of dealing with the trauma, By over coming your fears and learning to enjoy and even love having anal sex you take the power away from your abuser. I’m no professional but that’s my thought on it.

To get passed a mental block you will probably do a lot better playing/training on your own. It sounds like you have a guy that is caring and gentle enough and you just need to focus on reprogramming/desensitizing your psychological/physiological response. You can use simple behavior mod. practices. The following is a detailed program for reprogramming yourself.

The following advice assumes you know about the anatomy of your ass. If you have any doubt read Common Causes of Anal Sex Problems first and don’t forget the lube. Keep everything very slippery.

If you are comfortable inserting your own finger (or at least one finger) then that is the place to start. For five minutes a day (at least) stick you own finger in your ass and start moving it around. Gently pull your anus from side to side then front and back with your finger. Just get used to manipulating your ass without causing yourself any pain.

Start practicing ‘bearing down’ (pushing your ass out like you are trying to poo). As you feel the sphincter muscles start to relax and soften (not necessarily on the first or any given session) start working a second finger into your anus from your other hand, along with the first. Be gentle. Be comfortable. Remember to breath. It should be calm and rhythmic. Pause as you breath in and push out with your ass and in with your fingers as you exhale.

When you have two finger comfortably in start stretching them apart, GENTLY! Side ways and front to back. Remember to breath. Relax as you breath in and stretch a little more as you breath out. Keep working with your fingers. Over time (and probably not a lot of time) you will find you can work your way up to two fingers from each hand. It may take you a week. It may take you a month. Some days will be easier and some days will be harder. Listen to your body and only go as far as you are comfortable on any give day.

When you are comfortable to move on it is time to start probing deeper and that you cannot do with fingers. You want to work with something very smooth. The classic vibrators come in different diameters and are dirt cheap (see: classic vibe). Get a couple of different sizes, nothing extreme. Start with your fingers to relax your anus and then slowly replace your fingers with the tip of the vibrator. Vibrations will further relax your muscles.

Your practice with the vibe is to gently push in past the Puborectalis muscle. Gently gyrate the vibe as you try pushing it in. Squat or knees to chest is the best position. Concentrate on your breathing. Pause as you breath in. Push as you breath out. You should feel the resistance of this muscle fade fairly quickly (maybe a number of attempts) and when you do it is time to start sliding the vibe in and out gently and rhythmically.

As you go deeper you will need more and more lube. You will be able to get the vibe in about 4 inchs (10 cm) before you hit a bit of a road block. This is because of the Anorectal Angle. To proceed deeper (same with a cock) you have to navigate the vibe through the sharp corner into the main part of your rectum. To do this you have to tilt the head of the vibe (inside you) back towards your spine. You will be pulling the base of the vibe forward, towards your clit. This will put a whole new strain on your sphincters and Puborectalis muscle, so take it slow and gentle. Just start by rocking the vibe back and forth. Concentrate on your breathing. This time start tilting the vibe toward you spine while you breath in and stop tilting when you feel the strain. Maintain the strain as you finish breathing in and as you breath out just angle the vibe a little more. Breath in holding the strain and tilt a little more as you breath out. When you are comfortable (you decide) start pushing the vibe further in as you breath out. More lube!

When the vibe is aligned with your rectum you could slide a vibe in easily until it hits the top of the rectum (at least eight inches/20 cm). Once you get to this point it is time to just practice sliding the vibe all the way in and all the way out, rhythmically, over and over again. Apply more lube.

Remember to always start from the beginning with your fingers. Warm yourself up to where you were before. Now it is time to imagine the vibe is a real cock. Think about your man and his cock as you penetrate yourself.Aas you are sliding the vibrator in and out. This is a standard brain training trick. Ideally now you should be masturbating yourself to orgasm. This is actually very important in Behavior mod. to associate all the sensations with sexual gratification.

When all seems good and you feel ready and you have imagined his cock penetrating your ass over and over and over again, it is time to use the real thing.

On this final step remember to start warming yourself up with your fingers (not his). Go through the exercise steps with your vibe. Be touching each other. Looking at each other. Imagine it is his cock when you are warming up with your vibe.

As you ready yourself to take his cock it is time to inject a good dose of lube up your ass (see: Good anal lube). Make sure he is lying on his back with his cock standing up to start with and when you feel ready, position yourself over his cock, still with the vibe burred in your ass. Slide the vibe in and out a couple more times and when you are ready, slide the vibe out and gently guide his cock into your ass as a replacement. Remember your training. You have to get passed the sphincters first, then the Puborectalis muscle, then the angle into the rectum. You control the speed of penetration. You control the angle. Remember your breathing. Sit/push down on the cock as you exhale. Pause as you inhale. Take your time and concentrate on your breathing until you are sitting right down on his cock. Start gyrating, maybe bouncing a little yourself before you let him start to take control.

If figure you can sort it from there.

Play safe.

A great resource for us women is the book by Tristan Taoromino called The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I’ve read this book several times and always come away with something new. The most important part was how if it hurts to do anal, you’re doing something wrong. You should be able to achieve accepting of a cock without any pain. This of course, after lots of training, as @MaxPrivate has so eloquently spelled out for you. Consider using butt plugs that graduate in size. They are usually labeled as “anal training kits” and can be helpful, along with your fingers of course.

Also keep in mind that when the time comes to actually accept a cock, there isn’t necessarily any one position that will be the one that works for you. I suggest you play around with what position you’re in when you move forward with it. It’s a good idea to be in a position where YOU have the actual control over how fast/slow he moves into you, but it could be that you’re standing and he’s taking you from behind, or perhaps as @MaxPrivate indicated, sitting on top of him. It’s all about what works for you and finding that sweet spot.

Remember to take it slow. It’s not going to happen overnight or during one play session. It could take several months, and while this may seem like a long time to wait, remember that it’s also about the journey, as they say.

Good luck to you and have fun.

MAXPRIVATE’s Advice is the best in your case. AND it’s free lol…. Do this and in time (like a month or so) you’ll be comfortable enough with anal to enjoy it with your partner BUT, and this is a HUGE BUT!!!

YOU HAVE TO LEARN ALL THIS BY YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!

OneRedApple makes a good point. I am an advocate of squatting (not sitting). When you position yourself over the cock you want to be squatting, usually facing away (Asian reverse cowgirl). Depending on your anatomy and his cock’s the angle may not be best for the initial penetration but you have the flexability of leaning back towards his chest, even moving you feet forward a bit. Or it may be better to facing him in an Asian cowgirl.

Many people swear by spooning. The entry angle is good for the sphincters and Puborectalis muscle. It is easy to adjust your position to angle the cock through the Anorectal Angle. But it is a little hard to coordinate a smooth transition from the vibe to inserting the cock.

Doggy is best for others. It is easy to manage the vibe in one hand and the cock in the other at the same time. You want to start in an almost vertical kneeling position with your butt sticking out. As you push your butt further out and guide the cock in you also start folding forward to straighten out the Anorectal Angle. You keep pushng your butt out and drop it down onto your knees as you fold yourself over your thighs. At this point everything should be aligned for him to take control.

This is all fantastic advice. Thanks a lot everyone. I will most definitely begin gradual introduction by myself and work up the way @MaxPrivate suggested.

I’m sure over time and training, the mental block will disappear. However until then, there’s still a fairly strong emotional aspect to overcome :/

Okay, I agree with all the TL;DR here, but I don’t think anyone mentioned this yet.

The first step is just getting used to having your butthole be touched. So in the shower, soap up your butt and get it nice and clean between the cheeks. Then place your fingers on your anus and apply gentle pressure. This step comes before insertion or anything else.

@FFingercuFFs – excellent point. I am going to add that to the piece of writing I am compiling based on this thread.

Perfectly Easy Anal Sex – A success story

Easy Anal Sex

Perfectly Easy Anal Sex – Prologue by MaxPrivate

“Perfectly easy anal sex” is a success story from one of my followers on FetLife. The story actually started as a post entitled “So I really wanted to try anal” about 8 months ago before she came to me asking for help.

” I have gotten ok with the insertion and toys being in there…but the fucking motion…i don’t like it. It causes me pain. Currently I have called an all stop to anal until I figure it out.”

Based on a lot more detailed information she shared I directed her to a number of the articles that I have now published here and gave her a couple of specific pointers. 3 months later she wrote back to me;

“I wanted to say thank you for your help and support and advice.

So yesterday afternoon kinda out of the blue, didn’t really plan to, we just kinda went for it…. I had anal for the first time and it was awesome. We didn’t do any prep stretching or anything but because of what I’d been doing on my own it didn’t hurt at all….and he is not even a small guy…lol. and I had the most amazing orgasm from it….lol

Can’t wait to try it again! Yay!

Thank you again. :)”

So pleased with her success she wrote this account of her experience which she was happy for me to republish for others, especially those who might find a site like FetLife a bit too confronting.


So I really wanted to try anal;

At the same time the idea of trying anal kinda squidged me out a bit ….for a couple of reasons.

One, well it’s anal and you hear all kinds of horror stories about how it hurts, and well there’s the poop factor. Also for me I had gotten a little additionally freaked out because I had a bit of a bad experience with a guy who, using just toys, had pushed me a little too far and had caused a good bit of pain and discomfort, some from the stretching but mostly from the thrusting. So I had completely freaked out about anal, and pretty much closed the doors back there for a while.

But I was not deterred. (If you’ve read my profile you know that I can be rather stubborn) I still wanted to get to the point to try anal, why I honestly have no idea, but I did. Maybe I would hate it and never do it again, maybe I’d love it and become an “anal whore.” Either way I wanted to at least try it and see which way my ass went.

Anal 101. I read a bunch of people’s comments and questions and the good advice that people had posted in response. Then being too embarrassed to post my own question on the group I instead messaged someone who had been giving that good advice and told him what had happened and asked him some questions about how I should move forward to –GASP- train myself…

He gave me some really good advice about making it about me, and what felt good to me, and stopping if it didn’t feel good. Which all seem pretty logical, but when it comes to anal, I had gotten all sorts of turned around so I needed that logical advice. He also gave me some pointers on how to go about the first time when I was finally ready for anal.

So that’s what I did. When I masturbated I used butt plugs. Small at first and then slowly worked my way to bigger. Sometimes I would just put them in there and them…ummm concentrate on other things…sometimes I would use my “anal dildo” (it’s long, flexible, thin and has a handle) and move it in and out to get used to the thrusting motion. It all depended on what felt good that day. It got to a point that some days I craved the anal stimulation while I masturbated.

This lasted several months. And over that time I had several guys that I was talking to ask if I was into anal, and I would tell them not yet. Initially I told a couple guys that I was working on it, and was training myself for it. And OMG, the reactions I got from that…

“That’s weird.”

“You can’t train yourself”

“It would work better if I trained you”

So I stopped telling guys that I was training myself and just told them I wasn’t up to anal yet.

The Plan:

So, when I did have anal for the first time I had a plan, based on my reading and the advice I had gotten.

  • I was going to be in control…would probably be on top as the squatting position is the supposed to be the easiest.
  • Would use toys or fingers first to loosen things up a bit.
  • Would do an enema before to get rid of that worry.
  • Would use lots and lots of lube.

Yeh…so not a single one of those happened…lol

Here is how it went.

I was meeting a newish fwb for a little afternoon delight. As I was getting ready to drive over I decided to be a little daring and take my vibrating butt plug, so maybe if he was willing he could fuck me with it in my ass, which I’ve been wanting to try.

So I arrive and we starting kissing and clothes are removed, not that he was wearing much when I got there, just black boxer briefs, my favorite. I tell him about the toys I brought and he seems perfectly willing, so I think YAY!

He pushes me down on the bed and crawls on top of me, pinching and nibbling on my breasts. Then he slides down between my legs and drives me crazy with his mouth and hands for a while, until I came.

He stood up and moved to the side of the bed, and I nearly attacked his cock with my mouth. I was on my hands and knees on the bed in front of him sucking and licking and them I felt the vibrator moving along the seam of my ass. He pushed it in slightly, but for whatever reason, my position, the angle; it wouldn’t go in so he set it aside.

I was a little disappointed, but I figured, oh well, no big deal.

I pulled my mouth back to the tip of his cock and looked up at him and he asked if I wanted his cock inside me, and I said yes. He tossed me back on the bed again, crawled between my legs and impaled himself in my wet pussy. It felt great. He fucked me deep and hard, and then slow and shallow and the fast and then deep again. He was driving me crazy.

Then still kneeling between my legs he pulled out and rubbed his cock on my asshole. I met his eyes and he raises his eyebrow at me and asks me if I want more.

At that moment, I wasn’t scared or worried or anything. And I trusted him. I knew he would stop if I didn’t like it and not be mad or upset about it. That he really did care about my pleasure. And at that moment All I wanted was for him to put his cock in my ass. So I followed my instincts and I said yes.

He pushed his cock in real slow, just to the point where it would stretch and should hurt, but it didn’t, not even slightly, it felt amazing.

He stopped and looked at me again and asked if I wanted more, and I am pretty sure my yes was in the form of a moan that time. So he slowly slid his cock all the way in, and still no pain, just this wonderful feeling.

Then he started to move and I felt the orgasm coming almost immediately.

He asked me if he could come in my ass and I said yes, partly because I didn’t care if he did and partly because I was so not letting him pull out until I had cum. And then I did, at the same time that he did incidentally, and O.M.G….. it was the most amazing orgasm I have ever had!!

So that’s my story.

So I am pretty sure the reason it went so well is because I trusted him and I had become comfortable with my own ass and its pleasure.

I think if I had followed my original plan it would have gone ok, but I think I would have been too focused on it and nervous about it, and I don’t think I would have had the earth shattering orgasm I had, so I am glad I followed my instincts and went for it, and that my self training made me ready for it.