Question: No matter how much I try to relax, no matter how much lube I use I cannot even fit a small anal vibrator in me so there is no way I am going to accommodate my boyfriend's cock in me. I am hugely turned on by the idea of giving him my ass but I have no idea how that is going to work for me. What can I do? Answer: Most people think of the anal sphincter as if it was just a single ring muscle when it is actually an amalgamation of rings connected to an amalgamation of other muscles, the function of which is to keep things out or push things out. I have little doubt that you have seen larger solids come out of your ass when you look in the toilet then anything you are currently trying to put in. It is essential to realize this point. It goes a long way to answering the question in the title of your OP - No you're not too damn tight. At least not in a engineering sense. All will become easy when you understand what you must do at a conscious level and what you need to do to train your nervous system allow stuff to go in as easily as it pushes things out and only when you want it to. I have published several articles that you should find useful. You should also share this with your partner. In no particular order: Starting with an Anal Sex Virgin Anal Training by Yourself Anal Training (together) Avoiding Anal Sex Pain Anal Training after a bad incident You will quickly see the overlap in the advice and information given in each of these articles, but I still get questions on some of the specifics. So, here is an FAQ on the subject of getting past/avoiding pain or tightness - Anal Sex Pain catch-22