Max Injector XL – anal lube shooter & enema syringe

Max Injector XL

The Max Injector XL is for those who want to inject a butt load of lube in a single shot and more effective for cleaning the arse for anal sex than the original Max Injector. When it comes to easy and pain free anal sex, lube injected into the anus is a must. But when it comes to finding a good lube shooter, the existing commercial products are basically rubbish. With the Max Products, I try to address specific needs for specialty products and source quality at a price that won’t disappoint.

Continue reading “Max Injector XL – anal lube shooter & enema syringe”

Positions for having anal sex

Which anal sex positions do people find better?

The following is a thread from one of my FetLife groups that asks what positions for anal sex people prefer. I thought would be of interest to the broader community. You will also find the question of position is important to avoid pain from anal sex

Some examples of those basic positions are shown here but are graphic/pronographic, so you have to have a sign in which acknowledges you accept the T&C’s

Anal Sex On your back or on your knees?

by beoursissy 8 months ago

I was wondering if anal sex feels better if you lay on your back rather then on your knees or stomach… Is it different for women and men or is there a common answer? Or is it just everyone is different? (which of course we are)

Follow Discussion -> (This link will take you to FetLife)

Responses (1 – 50 of 65)

 
lovetosuckcock:

For shear animal passion I love being on my knees taking it from the rear. But have found that the easiest position to get the ball rolling is for me to lie on my side on for my top to approach me on his knees from behind.

 
beoursissy:

Polyphemus56, thank you to. I have wanted to try to ways to make it easier for myself when the hubby want’s some rear action and have often wondered if that might feel better… face down is good because I can bite the sheets…lol Since I also use a strap on, on my husband it’s nice to get an idea for both sexes.

 
Unixslut:

I like to start on my knees, but then move to my back. It feels best first starting out when I’m on my knees but the depth he gets when I lie down is delicious!

 
beoursissy:

Nice, thank you Unixslut. I am thinking I want to try being on my back… just a bit scared as he’s really big… It’s not often I can take it with my on my tummy… but every now and then when I can, it’s amazing.

 
Unixslut:

You know what, if he’s really big and you’re scared, why not ride on top of him? Even if it’s just until you get used to the sensation. 🙂 I had a b/f for a while who was built like a coke can, width-wise, and I would sit on his belly, lube up, and let him tease my nipples while I slowly let myself down at MY pace rather than his. He found the sensation very pleasant, and it gave me just enough control to relax a bit. Then once we got going we’d switch to whatever other position was fun. 🙂

 
Sabre72: devilheart

When I’m fucking myself, I prefer to be on my knees. I seem to get deeper penetration that way. When my mistress fucks me, I’m in doggy. We’ve yet to try me on top, or on my back.

 
beoursissy:

@Unixslut, thank you so much! That is very helpful to me. I am not going to lie, the thought of me being on top and easing him into my ass though may feel well.. but I don’t think I could relax that way and I don’t think I would ever put it in…. When we have done it, clitoral stimulation is a must, it also has to be before I cum.. so that’s why I was wondering ass up or ass down.. 🙂

 
beoursissy:

@Sabre72, I gotta give you your props! You can definitely take it up the ass! Fist and wrist… damn… I am worried about getting a large hard cock in my ass… hat’s off to you!

 
Sabre72: devilheart

@beoursissy Thank you for your comment. I’ve been training for nearly 8 years now and am continuing to expand my training regime. No pun intended…or is there 😉

 
Sxybluidgrl: devilheart

I usually start by riding him. It is easier for me to relax and get adjusted. Then he flips me over on to my knees and just has at it taking his pleasure any way he wants.

 
merkie:

I enjoy receiving anal sex laying on my tummy with my legs closed and him straddling my legs.
Or on my belly bent over a cushion with my legs spread.

 
coconutgrrl:

I find that when I want something hot and rowdy and maybe a bit rough, especially with a casual partner, doggy style is the best way. But when I want real intimacy, with a person I have a good connection with, on my back is the way to go.

Whatever position I’m in I want to work my clit, which is no problem on my back, but can be problematic depending on how I’m bent over in doggy. Sometimes I’ll use a small vibe to reach the extra few inches to my clit in these cases. Make sure you can reach your clit, or that your partner can (and will). Makes a big difference!

 
BiCdAmber:

I enjoy Anal better on my Knees doggy style. Something about feeling a mans hands on my hips as he fucks me make me feel like a true slut. When I get fucked on my back my prostrate gets stimulated and I have a hands free orgasm way too fast.

 
beoursissy:

@coconutgrrl, thank you, I must agree, having my clit played with during anal is a must. I have to be really turned on to do anal… I cannot do anal after I cum.

 
Layne0033:

My preference is definitely on my back with my legs up in the air or on his shoulders, though I’ve only ever had one male lover; he preferred me on my knees – though as his thrusts got harder and faster, I’d always slowly slip down and end up flat on my stomach.

 
HoozaAngel: devilheart

So far we have done doggie, back and yummy, while all of them are awesome, I find that it depends on the mood we are in for our position choices. We just did doggie for the first time recently but it is probably going to be a lot more often now lol.

 
inmybuttbare:

It so depends on the guy doing me. Size, shape and his desires. If he curves up I like to take him on my back. Curves down? Doggy. That’s all about prostate massaging so likely varies with women.

If he is hung big then I like to be on top for the start just to get used to having him in me at my pace.

I always like being on my back when he cums so I can watch his face.

 
Jeg_Elsker_Rumpe: devilheart

On her back you can hit the back of her G•spot best.

I actually don’t like doggy anal.

For me, I actually prefer vagina penetration in doggy and look at her butt hole and lust for it.

One of the reasons I love missionary anal is being able to watch her pussy while in the back door.

 
CallsMeKitten:

We usually do it with me on my knees, which is amazing! It lets him get going really hard and fast and I can just hang on for the ride. One time, however, he surprised me by going for it while I was on my back and oh my god it felt good! After a few seconds it was like have one long orgasm. Different parts were being hit and it was a really nice change. The only downside is that it took more planning to get everything lined up properly, but the extra effort was well worth it!

 
2Intrigued: devilheart

I have had anal in several positions…side, stomach , back, on knees, etc.. For me…as with others here, I think on my knees is the best. I love the idea of being “taken”. Of not being in control. I love the feel of his hands on my hips, pulling me back on his cock as he shoves into me. It lets me know my place. For harder, deeper penetration my prior lover would sometimes grab my hair or place a hand on my shoulder to pull me back. Most delicious!
For me, it is about doing what I am told or giving him what he wants. It is wonderful when the thoughts of the two people collide, though. Smiling…. Do what works for you and your partner. Hope this helps.

 
Autumn_shade:

Depends on my partner. With those who are smaller I can lay on my back and pull my knees toward my ears, which is easier on my joints and more intimate, since we are facing each other, but if they are larger I tend to prefer to be on all fours at the edge of the bed, with him standing beside it…then I can push back at my pace to get him in, and once I get relaxed he can take over. 🙂

 
KnkyInKCMO:

For me in the beginning, i had to be completely relaxed. Being on my back wouldnt do because the angle was wrong. So, Since bent over is very acessible, i tried that also, but i was too tense. Holding your own self up requires some muscles be tense so to eliminate the issue, we’d place a stack of pillows under my tummy and id press my cheek to one under my head, just focusing on relaxing and feeling his hands gently tickle or caress my ass and back. So much easier. If its at a point that it hurts, pause. Dont draw back. Just wait and then let her tell you when shes ready to continue because you can ruin the whole moment and session in one thrust if you dont take care easing it in.

 
Geenafromanchora:

Back for sure with leg wrap around waist. I like to see whats,going on. Doggie is no no as the able because of height is out of my control. Tummy is OK but it seems….too impersonal. I want to be kissed and sucked on.

 
-MackintoshGirl-:

My first time was on my back knees pulled in (I late discovers this position, much like if you squat on the ground straightens out the lower colon, seems this might make entry easier)

I prefer to be on my knees as it allows him more leverage, I don’t like it so hard and fast I get hurt but nor do I want gentle and slow.

Coconut oil is great as a lube for anal so much better the silicone (imo) and safe for my silicone plugs.

Beware fingers and hang nails (ouch !) I keep gloves on hand in case we head this way because then I don’t get little cuts from his nail or a hand nail that makes what follows uncomfortable.

Plugs and wearing one for even 15 minutes (even just a small one) & playing it in and out for a minute or two can really make it easier to accept him.

I love my small booty rocker plug stays in nicely and is very comfortable.

Even a small enema can be helpful beforehand as well if your not opposed to them.

Hope this helps.

 
FallenAngel2020:

I enjoy performing anal with my lady partners in a variety of position….Doggystyle, standing Doggystyle and especially Flying Doggystyle (Flying Doggystyle is also my position of choice when I am invited to help partake in and perform the anal half of a great Double Penetration session too)
A great position, which I love to do anal in, is the Spooning position with my partners leg drawn up and I support her leg with my shoulder or I grip her ankle with my hand. It’s a great position for the lady to apply copious amounts of either baby oil or quality lubricant while we fuck when and if needed…and also, it’s a great position to watch ourselves, show off in front of a camera or other couples watching us

 
LaylaBeee:

In my opinion, on my back and legs up in the air is the easiest way to take a cock deep in your ass. But I love the feeling of being handled on doggy style. So, I tend to start on my back then turn on my knees.

 
Jeg_Elsker_Rumpe: devilheart

I personally prefer (if I am giving anal) I like her to be on her back with her legs pulled up.

This gives me the best view of my lover and my partner. I can look into her eyes and watch her facial expression as I enter her I can also look down her entire body I can watch your breast smooth as we move in rhythm with each other. I can also see her slit and her pussy it’s a beautiful sight because I have never been with a woman who did not get super wet when you’re inside of her asshole. And the enjoyment of feeling her asshole around your cock as you move in and out of her can be absolutely stunning. I also love the look of the way her pussy will move as you are moving your cock in and out of her asshole.

 
Red_KittyCat:

my preference is lying on my side (spoon) and being penetrated… i find it’s the easiest way for me to push back on the toy and this position does not put any stress on lower abdomen which could lead to clamping up. Once in an thrusting is underway, i will usually motion to all 4’s on my knees to give my partner free rein on the action while i enjoy taking it.

Given my personal preference of liking it deep, i’ll usually seek out a fwd or reverse cowboy riding position for maximum depth that i control… with intermittent stationary rise to allow my partner to drill me. As fun as this may be, i cannot hold the position for any length of time so i soon switch it up and i lie on my back and allow my partner free roam on the action while i recoup.

Another thing i like and this applies to all positions is to have my partner pull out completely and re-insert, the stretching effect is wonderful in my opinion…. So all in all is there a right way to start… i think it depends on the receiver and what ever he/she is most comfortable with.

 
roland1919:

I think for men, Doggie-style is the easiest and provides the deepest penetration and easily leads to the girl ravaging the ass proper!
But I prefer being on my back with a pillow below to help improve the angle of the penetration. I enjoy being able to watch the girl work and make eye contact with her as she is pounding me.
So I like the back the best but it’s more work, From behind is easiest. In my opinion.

 
redangelfire:

Try cowgirl style it gives you more control of how deep and the pace. You can take it as deep as you want like that. Also he can spread your cheeks to get even deeper.

I enjoy it all ways. I wear a plug 3 or 4 hours at least everyday since I’ve been trained anally. Your ass needs to be trained so your muscles can stretch easier. That way any position will work.

 
koalabear69: devilheart

doggie style, on your back if you elevate your hips at least in my opinion and on your knees is all good i think it depends on what else your doing or going to do etc… facing him is more personal facing away is less personal depends on what you need….
if you need the affection to go along with it do it in a position that faces him, but if you just need a good hard fuck in the ass, doggie style bent over the bed is good in my opinion. Thats my 2 cents…lol

 
Bukow:

i like to sit on a hard cock while facing the person who is penetrating me… this allows me to also play with myself and kiss him/her, play with tits, suck on nipples, etc… it also allows me to have full control of the pumping.

 
Chunky-Bunny:

I love being fucked hard doggy style but also being on my back with my legs over my partners shoulders feels amazing and lets him get nice and deep

Our modern aversion to Anal Sex

People’s aversion to Anal Sex

Our aversion to anal sex, be it the “ick factor”, shame, embarrassment or “it’s just plain wrong”, is the biggest barrier to people enjoying anal sex. These emotional responses to the thought of anal sex is at the core of people’s unwillingness to even contemplate the act. In a modern, 1st world society, it may be hard to understand the reasons for these emotions. After all, in our modern, first world societies, gay relationships are now celebrated, although not by all. It must be know that the vast majority of gay relationships involve anal sex.

Continue reading “Our modern aversion to Anal Sex”

Starting Anal Sex – initial pain

Anal Sex – Starting out

by jacquie30sJuly 24, 2016

Hi I’m pretty new to anal and would like to be able to take my master’s cock. My question is probably pretty rudimentary, but i would appreciate any information on your own experiences.

If it’s painful at the beginning can it feel better once it is in, or does the pain just continue? I’m ok I think to take a bit of pain but I’m worried that too much will scare me off anal.

Continue reading “Starting Anal Sex – initial pain”

Staying in Anal Shape

Staying in anal shape when flying solo. Any thoughts?

by ann_moonrider

Broke up with my boyfriend 6-months ago and moved. Single since then. He was the first guy that I had ever had satisfying anal sex with. It takes me a while to get relaxed, and things got better as we practiced together.

Been on my own now for half a year, and I’m wondering if the back-door progress I made will fade, and if I start up with a new lover, will I have the tightness trouble that I had at first. Has this happened to anyone?

I’m wondering if I should ‘practice’ with a vibe or dildo to keep in shape?

Continue reading “Staying in Anal Shape”

Alcohol and Anal Sex

Is it good to mix alcohol and anal sex?

Every time I see the subject of deliberately using alcohol to help a bottom take a cock, especially when the question relates to an anal sex virgin, neigh sayers descend on the forum discussion propounding the dangers of mixing alcohol with anal sex. Their rather outrageous claim is that anyone using alcohol to easy the path to anal penetration is a candidate for the Darwin Awards or, at the very least, a trip to the ER. From a clinical standpoint, nothing could be further from the truth and there is no justification for all the negativity  Continue reading “Alcohol and Anal Sex”

Ujjayi Breath for better sex

I can’t believe it is so hard to find a simple explanation of Ujjayi breath(ing). There is loads of information that talks about the spiritual links and nature and it origins. This article is about the mechanics of Ujjayi breathing for those who are just not into the spiritualism.

Before you start using Ujjayi Breath various situations to manage pain, alleviate discomfort or in your quest for greater sexual satisfaction, it is best to just practice the breathing technique on its own. The Ujjayi breath is typically done in association with asana practice. Asana is any posture useful for restoring and maintaining a persons well-being and improving the body’s flexibility and vitality. Primarily though, its origins are cultivating the ability to remain in seated meditation for extended periods.

Inhalation and exhalation are both done through the nose. An “ocean sound” is created by moving the glottis as air passes in and out. The length and speed of the breath is controlled by the diaphragm, the strengthening of which is, in part, the purpose of ujjayi. The inhalations and exhalations should be equal in duration, and are controlled in a manner that causes no distress to the practitioner. i.e. don’t strain to fill your lungs or empty them.

Ujjayi is a diaphragmatic breath. Keeping your chest still, you first fill the lower belly which pushes your belly out. Then rise to the lower rib cage and finally the upper chest and throat. When you lungs are full, hold your breath for a second or two. Don’t block your nasal passage with your tongue or pallet to hold the breath in, just hold your diaphragm and chest muscles in place. You should be able to allow small amounts of air to flow in and out if you wanted to.

When you breath out, let the air rush out at first (to make the ocean sound) and just let the breath slow to a stop at the end and relax with your lungs empty for a second or two. Again, don’t block the airways. Then start the cycle again..

Practice this in a comfortable sitting position with your eyes closed. No sooner than you think you are comfortable you will want to touch/scratch your nose or rub your eye or scratch your forehead. The idea is to breath through those moments and remain still. Focus on the breath flowing up through the top of your nasal passages and into the back of your throat in a big arc. Then back the other way. Listen to the “Ocean sound”. If you can’t feel it, imagine the air flowing up into your skull and your nasal passages opening.

The idea is to stay focused on your breath or breathing. As you relax you will start to daydream or maybe start pondering some part of the day or something you still need to do. Just slowly bring your thoughts back to your breathing as soon as you realise your mind is straying.

These are the mechanical and mental processes for a good Ujjayi breath. When you can breath through the itchy nose and other distracting sensations you will find that you can breath through all sorts of discomforts and even painful events.

It is a good way to wind down at the end of a day. It is basically a form of meditation in itself. Great way to relax before sex too.

Anal Sex Training by Yourself

Anal Sex Training by Yourself

Why anal sex training by yourself?

There are lots of reasons why people want or should do anal sex training by themselves. Most will ‘suffer’ from modesty, anxiety, fears or some combination or those, that are the result of a lifetime of negative social programming. Others have experienced or anticipate pain and discomfort that they believe would be tolerable, or at least would spoil the sexual encounter. Some want to surprise a partner with the special ‘gift’ of giving their ass and want to be assured that it will be easy and without a lot of negotiations, discussions or experimentation. They want it to be a natural part of their sexual exploits and not be awkward. Continue reading “Anal Sex Training by Yourself”

Anal Sex and the Irresistible Urge to Poo

Anal Sex and the Irresistible Urge to Poo

How to Stop or cope with the irresistible urge to poo is a common question raised by Newbies to anal sex. The irresistible urge to poo is seen as a problem for the inexperienced who are concerned about making a mess (literally a mess) of things. However, it is also essential for opening up the inner anal sphincter (IAS) and thereby avoid straining the sphincter which can be a source of great pain.

Enemas for Irresistible urge to Poo

This is the primary reason why so many who indulge in anal sex or anal play insist on cleaning their ass with an enema before they begin. Dirty or clean anal is all a question of degrees. At one end of the scale are those who say there is no way of eliminating every last bacterium from the anal canal so it is never clean. At the other end of the scale there are those who say “If you can’t see anything its clean enough and by the way I wear a blindfold.”

A good enema gives people the confidence that nothing is going to get shitty regardless of the sensations they experience. So cleaning your ass out guarantees the irresistible urge to poo is not caused by poo. There is a MaxPrivate article that specifically deals with Eating and Enemas for Clean Anal Sex to provide you with that confidence. But if it is not poo causing the irresistible urge to poo then what is it? Here I deal with why you get the urge, how you can use it to your advantage and how you can overcome it.

What causes the Irresistible urge to Poo?

irresistible urge to poo - Parasympathetic_Nervous_System
Click for full size image

So what causes the irresistible urge to poo? There are a particular bunch of nerves in your rectum that are part of the enteric nervous system (ENS).  These neural receptors in the wall of the rectum react to pressure and stretching. These receptors are connected back to the spinal cord but their signals are not passed up to the brain, so your brain is unaware (which is to say, you are not be aware) of any stretching or pressure these nerves detect in the rectal walls. Instead, these rectal receptors trigger motor neurons that relax your inner anal sphincter (IAS) directly. It is the relaxing of the IAS and pressure on the anus that your “Brain” feels. The “urge to poo” is your conscious becoming aware that something is opening the exit.

irresistible urge to poo - IAS_and_EAS
IAS_and_EAS detail

Because there is no connection from your brain to the motor neurons that hold your IAS shut you cannot consciously hold the IAS shut. While you cannot control the IAS and your brain never “feels” the nerves in your rectum being simulated (in the normal sense), you can feel the IAS relaxing and other sensations caused by movement in your bowels. That is what the conscious mind equates to the need to defecate.

Normally, when you feel the need to defecate  your conscious mind reacts immediately, tightening the Outer Anal Sphincter (OAS) to hold the back door shut until you get to the toilet. In a normal state, when you don’t need to defecate, the IAS provides up to 85% of the closing force on your anus. For most people, even when they consciously clench their ass (tighten the OAS) as best as they can, it is still no where near as good at keeping your anus shut as the IAS.

Using the Irresistible urge to Poo

To make anal sex/play easy you actually want the IAS to let go. This is why you need to be confident that there is nothing waiting to come out. You need to know it is only that which is being stuffed in that is causing the IAS to relax and your inexperienced brain equating that as an irresistible urge to poo.

To make the IAS relax you need to get something in your rectum to put pressure on the walls and stretch them. That is why it is so important for the inexperienced to have their ass played with before penetration. At the same time you don’t want your conscious mind to be tightening the OAS just as you are getting the IAS to relax. You will go from straining the IAS to straining the OAS. It all feels just like any pain you get from straining muscles.

So making sure you are clean before you start means you can go with the irresistible urge to poo knowing these is no poo there. Let your ass open. When you feel the irresistible urge to poo start consciously pushing out just like you are trying to poo. That opens the OAS and that cock or toy will slide right in. To take bigger things up your ass you actually don’t want to relax at all, you want to push like you are going to do a big shit. Most people will take 8 inches balls deep on the first push by doing that, but it takes metal practice.

When the Irresistible urge to Poo is too much

This is where plugs are particularly useful training tools as they train your consciousness to accept bulbous things in your rectum and let your OAS relax along with the IAS.

With anal experience everyone’s consciousness learns that the loosening of the IAS does not always equate to poo. It doesn’t take very long before you anus starts winking and relaxing in anticipation of penetration and the pleasures to come.

Anal training after a bad incident

Anal training after a bad incident

Anal training is at the core of this thread from FetLife. I felt this was worthy of preservation and that cannot be guaranteed if I leave it up to FetLife.

LittlePetMolly

Training after bad incident

by LittlePetMolly 7 months ago

Hey all, I’m hoping someone can help me.

I would like to begin anal training (I’ve actually done a little bit already) to please my boyfriend. The idea itself is arousing, however the trouble is, I have a slight history with abuse especially with anal. Everything usually is fine, the thoughts, arousals, and prep, but when it comes to actually doing it, all I can think of is how much it had hurt and how terrifying that one experience was and so I stop it all right then and there, right before insertion.

So basically I need to get past a mental and in the worst way. We certainly go incredibly slow and gentle and stop when necessary, but I just can’t get past this. Please help, I would like to be able to do this.

(Also this will be posted in the group dedicated to those dealing with trauma)
Not Following Discussion ()

Responses (9 of 9)

My wife/sub has dealt with trauma very similar to what you describe. In the beginning she was terrified at just it being brought up. Now she is still nervous and afraid up until penetration is complete once she is fully penetrated and her muscles have relaxed enough for movement. Usually she begins to have an orgasm as soon as movement starts! We started slow just fingers along with oral stimulation. We moved at her pace (with a few pushes from me as well) and have taken 2&1/2 yrs to get here. Sure you want to please your partner, if you guys take your time you can make anal the icing on the cake for both of you. Always remember good lube and plenty of it is your best friend

P S one way to look at the emotional side of dealing with the trauma, By over coming your fears and learning to enjoy and even love having anal sex you take the power away from your abuser. I’m no professional but that’s my thought on it.

To get passed a mental block you will probably do a lot better playing/training on your own. It sounds like you have a guy that is caring and gentle enough and you just need to focus on reprogramming/desensitizing your psychological/physiological response. You can use simple behavior mod. practices. The following is a detailed program for reprogramming yourself.

The following advice assumes you know about the anatomy of your ass. If you have any doubt read Common Causes of Anal Sex Problems first and don’t forget the lube. Keep everything very slippery.

If you are comfortable inserting your own finger (or at least one finger) then that is the place to start. For five minutes a day (at least) stick you own finger in your ass and start moving it around. Gently pull your anus from side to side then front and back with your finger. Just get used to manipulating your ass without causing yourself any pain.

Start practicing ‘bearing down’ (pushing your ass out like you are trying to poo). As you feel the sphincter muscles start to relax and soften (not necessarily on the first or any given session) start working a second finger into your anus from your other hand, along with the first. Be gentle. Be comfortable. Remember to breath. It should be calm and rhythmic. Pause as you breath in and push out with your ass and in with your fingers as you exhale.

When you have two finger comfortably in start stretching them apart, GENTLY! Side ways and front to back. Remember to breath. Relax as you breath in and stretch a little more as you breath out. Keep working with your fingers. Over time (and probably not a lot of time) you will find you can work your way up to two fingers from each hand. It may take you a week. It may take you a month. Some days will be easier and some days will be harder. Listen to your body and only go as far as you are comfortable on any give day.

When you are comfortable to move on it is time to start probing deeper and that you cannot do with fingers. You want to work with something very smooth. The classic vibrators come in different diameters and are dirt cheap (see: classic vibe). Get a couple of different sizes, nothing extreme. Start with your fingers to relax your anus and then slowly replace your fingers with the tip of the vibrator. Vibrations will further relax your muscles.

Your practice with the vibe is to gently push in past the Puborectalis muscle. Gently gyrate the vibe as you try pushing it in. Squat or knees to chest is the best position. Concentrate on your breathing. Pause as you breath in. Push as you breath out. You should feel the resistance of this muscle fade fairly quickly (maybe a number of attempts) and when you do it is time to start sliding the vibe in and out gently and rhythmically.

As you go deeper you will need more and more lube. You will be able to get the vibe in about 4 inchs (10 cm) before you hit a bit of a road block. This is because of the Anorectal Angle. To proceed deeper (same with a cock) you have to navigate the vibe through the sharp corner into the main part of your rectum. To do this you have to tilt the head of the vibe (inside you) back towards your spine. You will be pulling the base of the vibe forward, towards your clit. This will put a whole new strain on your sphincters and Puborectalis muscle, so take it slow and gentle. Just start by rocking the vibe back and forth. Concentrate on your breathing. This time start tilting the vibe toward you spine while you breath in and stop tilting when you feel the strain. Maintain the strain as you finish breathing in and as you breath out just angle the vibe a little more. Breath in holding the strain and tilt a little more as you breath out. When you are comfortable (you decide) start pushing the vibe further in as you breath out. More lube!

When the vibe is aligned with your rectum you could slide a vibe in easily until it hits the top of the rectum (at least eight inches/20 cm). Once you get to this point it is time to just practice sliding the vibe all the way in and all the way out, rhythmically, over and over again. Apply more lube.

Remember to always start from the beginning with your fingers. Warm yourself up to where you were before. Now it is time to imagine the vibe is a real cock. Think about your man and his cock as you penetrate yourself.Aas you are sliding the vibrator in and out. This is a standard brain training trick. Ideally now you should be masturbating yourself to orgasm. This is actually very important in Behavior mod. to associate all the sensations with sexual gratification.

When all seems good and you feel ready and you have imagined his cock penetrating your ass over and over and over again, it is time to use the real thing.

On this final step remember to start warming yourself up with your fingers (not his). Go through the exercise steps with your vibe. Be touching each other. Looking at each other. Imagine it is his cock when you are warming up with your vibe.

As you ready yourself to take his cock it is time to inject a good dose of lube up your ass (see: Good anal lube). Make sure he is lying on his back with his cock standing up to start with and when you feel ready, position yourself over his cock, still with the vibe burred in your ass. Slide the vibe in and out a couple more times and when you are ready, slide the vibe out and gently guide his cock into your ass as a replacement. Remember your training. You have to get passed the sphincters first, then the Puborectalis muscle, then the angle into the rectum. You control the speed of penetration. You control the angle. Remember your breathing. Sit/push down on the cock as you exhale. Pause as you inhale. Take your time and concentrate on your breathing until you are sitting right down on his cock. Start gyrating, maybe bouncing a little yourself before you let him start to take control.

If figure you can sort it from there.

Play safe.

A great resource for us women is the book by Tristan Taoromino called The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I’ve read this book several times and always come away with something new. The most important part was how if it hurts to do anal, you’re doing something wrong. You should be able to achieve accepting of a cock without any pain. This of course, after lots of training, as @MaxPrivate has so eloquently spelled out for you. Consider using butt plugs that graduate in size. They are usually labeled as “anal training kits” and can be helpful, along with your fingers of course.

Also keep in mind that when the time comes to actually accept a cock, there isn’t necessarily any one position that will be the one that works for you. I suggest you play around with what position you’re in when you move forward with it. It’s a good idea to be in a position where YOU have the actual control over how fast/slow he moves into you, but it could be that you’re standing and he’s taking you from behind, or perhaps as @MaxPrivate indicated, sitting on top of him. It’s all about what works for you and finding that sweet spot.

Remember to take it slow. It’s not going to happen overnight or during one play session. It could take several months, and while this may seem like a long time to wait, remember that it’s also about the journey, as they say.

Good luck to you and have fun.

MAXPRIVATE’s Advice is the best in your case. AND it’s free lol…. Do this and in time (like a month or so) you’ll be comfortable enough with anal to enjoy it with your partner BUT, and this is a HUGE BUT!!!

YOU HAVE TO LEARN ALL THIS BY YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!

OneRedApple makes a good point. I am an advocate of squatting (not sitting). When you position yourself over the cock you want to be squatting, usually facing away (Asian reverse cowgirl). Depending on your anatomy and his cock’s the angle may not be best for the initial penetration but you have the flexability of leaning back towards his chest, even moving you feet forward a bit. Or it may be better to facing him in an Asian cowgirl.

Many people swear by spooning. The entry angle is good for the sphincters and Puborectalis muscle. It is easy to adjust your position to angle the cock through the Anorectal Angle. But it is a little hard to coordinate a smooth transition from the vibe to inserting the cock.

Doggy is best for others. It is easy to manage the vibe in one hand and the cock in the other at the same time. You want to start in an almost vertical kneeling position with your butt sticking out. As you push your butt further out and guide the cock in you also start folding forward to straighten out the Anorectal Angle. You keep pushng your butt out and drop it down onto your knees as you fold yourself over your thighs. At this point everything should be aligned for him to take control.

This is all fantastic advice. Thanks a lot everyone. I will most definitely begin gradual introduction by myself and work up the way @MaxPrivate suggested.

I’m sure over time and training, the mental block will disappear. However until then, there’s still a fairly strong emotional aspect to overcome :/

Okay, I agree with all the TL;DR here, but I don’t think anyone mentioned this yet.

The first step is just getting used to having your butthole be touched. So in the shower, soap up your butt and get it nice and clean between the cheeks. Then place your fingers on your anus and apply gentle pressure. This step comes before insertion or anything else.

@FFingercuFFs – excellent point. I am going to add that to the piece of writing I am compiling based on this thread.

Perfectly Easy Anal Sex – A success story

Easy Anal Sex

Perfectly Easy Anal Sex – Prologue by MaxPrivate

“Perfectly easy anal sex” is a success story from one of my followers on FetLife. The story actually started as a post entitled “So I really wanted to try anal” about 8 months ago before she came to me asking for help.

” I have gotten ok with the insertion and toys being in there…but the fucking motion…i don’t like it. It causes me pain. Currently I have called an all stop to anal until I figure it out.”

Based on a lot more detailed information she shared I directed her to a number of the articles that I have now published here and gave her a couple of specific pointers. 3 months later she wrote back to me;

“I wanted to say thank you for your help and support and advice.

So yesterday afternoon kinda out of the blue, didn’t really plan to, we just kinda went for it…. I had anal for the first time and it was awesome. We didn’t do any prep stretching or anything but because of what I’d been doing on my own it didn’t hurt at all….and he is not even a small guy…lol. and I had the most amazing orgasm from it….lol

Can’t wait to try it again! Yay!

Thank you again. :)”

So pleased with her success she wrote this account of her experience which she was happy for me to republish for others, especially those who might find a site like FetLife a bit too confronting.


So I really wanted to try anal;

At the same time the idea of trying anal kinda squidged me out a bit ….for a couple of reasons.

One, well it’s anal and you hear all kinds of horror stories about how it hurts, and well there’s the poop factor. Also for me I had gotten a little additionally freaked out because I had a bit of a bad experience with a guy who, using just toys, had pushed me a little too far and had caused a good bit of pain and discomfort, some from the stretching but mostly from the thrusting. So I had completely freaked out about anal, and pretty much closed the doors back there for a while.

But I was not deterred. (If you’ve read my profile you know that I can be rather stubborn) I still wanted to get to the point to try anal, why I honestly have no idea, but I did. Maybe I would hate it and never do it again, maybe I’d love it and become an “anal whore.” Either way I wanted to at least try it and see which way my ass went.

Anal 101. I read a bunch of people’s comments and questions and the good advice that people had posted in response. Then being too embarrassed to post my own question on the group I instead messaged someone who had been giving that good advice and told him what had happened and asked him some questions about how I should move forward to –GASP- train myself…

He gave me some really good advice about making it about me, and what felt good to me, and stopping if it didn’t feel good. Which all seem pretty logical, but when it comes to anal, I had gotten all sorts of turned around so I needed that logical advice. He also gave me some pointers on how to go about the first time when I was finally ready for anal.

So that’s what I did. When I masturbated I used butt plugs. Small at first and then slowly worked my way to bigger. Sometimes I would just put them in there and them…ummm concentrate on other things…sometimes I would use my “anal dildo” (it’s long, flexible, thin and has a handle) and move it in and out to get used to the thrusting motion. It all depended on what felt good that day. It got to a point that some days I craved the anal stimulation while I masturbated.

This lasted several months. And over that time I had several guys that I was talking to ask if I was into anal, and I would tell them not yet. Initially I told a couple guys that I was working on it, and was training myself for it. And OMG, the reactions I got from that…

“That’s weird.”

“You can’t train yourself”

“It would work better if I trained you”

So I stopped telling guys that I was training myself and just told them I wasn’t up to anal yet.

The Plan:

So, when I did have anal for the first time I had a plan, based on my reading and the advice I had gotten.

  • I was going to be in control…would probably be on top as the squatting position is the supposed to be the easiest.
  • Would use toys or fingers first to loosen things up a bit.
  • Would do an enema before to get rid of that worry.
  • Would use lots and lots of lube.

Yeh…so not a single one of those happened…lol

Here is how it went.

I was meeting a newish fwb for a little afternoon delight. As I was getting ready to drive over I decided to be a little daring and take my vibrating butt plug, so maybe if he was willing he could fuck me with it in my ass, which I’ve been wanting to try.

So I arrive and we starting kissing and clothes are removed, not that he was wearing much when I got there, just black boxer briefs, my favorite. I tell him about the toys I brought and he seems perfectly willing, so I think YAY!

He pushes me down on the bed and crawls on top of me, pinching and nibbling on my breasts. Then he slides down between my legs and drives me crazy with his mouth and hands for a while, until I came.

He stood up and moved to the side of the bed, and I nearly attacked his cock with my mouth. I was on my hands and knees on the bed in front of him sucking and licking and them I felt the vibrator moving along the seam of my ass. He pushed it in slightly, but for whatever reason, my position, the angle; it wouldn’t go in so he set it aside.

I was a little disappointed, but I figured, oh well, no big deal.

I pulled my mouth back to the tip of his cock and looked up at him and he asked if I wanted his cock inside me, and I said yes. He tossed me back on the bed again, crawled between my legs and impaled himself in my wet pussy. It felt great. He fucked me deep and hard, and then slow and shallow and the fast and then deep again. He was driving me crazy.

Then still kneeling between my legs he pulled out and rubbed his cock on my asshole. I met his eyes and he raises his eyebrow at me and asks me if I want more.

At that moment, I wasn’t scared or worried or anything. And I trusted him. I knew he would stop if I didn’t like it and not be mad or upset about it. That he really did care about my pleasure. And at that moment All I wanted was for him to put his cock in my ass. So I followed my instincts and I said yes.

He pushed his cock in real slow, just to the point where it would stretch and should hurt, but it didn’t, not even slightly, it felt amazing.

He stopped and looked at me again and asked if I wanted more, and I am pretty sure my yes was in the form of a moan that time. So he slowly slid his cock all the way in, and still no pain, just this wonderful feeling.

Then he started to move and I felt the orgasm coming almost immediately.

He asked me if he could come in my ass and I said yes, partly because I didn’t care if he did and partly because I was so not letting him pull out until I had cum. And then I did, at the same time that he did incidentally, and O.M.G….. it was the most amazing orgasm I have ever had!!

So that’s my story.

So I am pretty sure the reason it went so well is because I trusted him and I had become comfortable with my own ass and its pleasure.

I think if I had followed my original plan it would have gone ok, but I think I would have been too focused on it and nervous about it, and I don’t think I would have had the earth shattering orgasm I had, so I am glad I followed my instincts and went for it, and that my self training made me ready for it.

What makes a Good Anal Lube?

Good Anal Lube

There are literally 100’s of lubricants that you can use for anal sex. Some are advertised specifically for the purpose and tend to cost more as a consequence. But any number of personal lubricants as well as bath and cooking oils can be just as effective, if not more so. If you think that sticking to branded anal lubes is the only safe way to go, it is interesting to note the following:- (as at the beginning of 2013) – “Rectal use of lubricants is viewed by the [American FDA] as an “off-label” application—use at your own risk.”Chemical & Engineering News, Volume 90 Issue 50 | pp. 46-47. Make of that what you will. Continue reading “What makes a Good Anal Lube?”

Avoiding or Eliminate Anal Sex Pain

Avoid Anal Sex Pain

Anal Pain
Anal Sex Pain

It is a common misconception that you cannot avoid pain from anal penetration and that anal sex inevitably hurts. The standard advice – Bad Advice – goes something like this;

“Use lube, lots of lube, relax and don’t worry about the initial pain as it will go away.”

This advice is not entirely incorrect. If you do choose to just keep persevering your body and mind will get the hang of it eventually and anal sex will become easy. It just doesn’t have to be that way. Continue reading “Avoiding or Eliminate Anal Sex Pain”

Female Cum & Ejaculation – fact not fiction & not pee

Female Cum & Ejaculation:
– Introduction –

Female ejaculation is still a fiercely debated phenomenon. Some women (and their partners) are seriously bothered by the thought of “gushing” or “squirting” and horribly embarrassed when it does happen to them. The concern usually stems from the incorrect belief that anything more than a bit of moisture which arises during sexual arousal, to facilitate penetration, must be urine.

Now there are women who do loose bladder control when they climax which is not really squirting or gushing, it is far better described as leaking. I also know there are many who say “… and so what!”, but there are many others who are just not into water sports and when they “gush” or “ejaculate” (as opposed to leaking) this can seriously spoil their enjoyment of what is surely some excellent sex. This is because the only way to stop the wetness is for the woman to stop enjoying what they are doing. This is completely misguided and unnecessary.

Female Cum & Ejaculation:
– Peeing, Squirting, Gushing and Ejaculating

There are a couple of reasons why some people find it hard to believe that a woman can ejaculate, not the least of which is the porn industry’s “Squirting Women” genre, in which women are most often filmed spraying “pee” all over the place at the moment of “climax”. It should also be noted that it is standard practice to inject a saline solution into the balder rather like they would do in during a cystoscopy. So in the case of many porn films it is not even urine. It is much more convenient injecting fluid into a woman’s bladder directly than waiting for the human bodies ability to produce urine.

Cystoscopy process
Cystoscopy with saline solution injected

In between the concepts of peeing (which could be leaking or squirting) and ejaculating there is also gushing. Again the porn industry makes no distinction between gushing and squirting (which are depictions of peeing in almost every instance) and so the term gushing is also hijacked by the porn industry leaving the unwitting population believing that any wet patch left by a woman must be urine. It’s just isn’t so.

Female Cum & Ejaculation:
– What is it and where does it come from?

So to make a specific distinction between urine and female “cum”, what we are speaking of is actually the standard/normal lubricant (mucus) the vagina produces when a woman is sexually aroused.

Female cross-section

Shown here is a rather classic diagram used to discuss the female reproductive system and sexuality. You have probably seen hundreds just like this. But it doesn’t even show, let alone highlight, where the female “cum” comes from. There are four internal glands that will never show up on a center-line cross-section like this because they are not on the center-line. They are positioned on either side of the vagina. Two at the front on either side and two at the back (on either side).

let me say that on various occasions (but not all) every woman I have been with has “gushed”. It makes me extremely happy when I see a big wet patch on the bed and its not me. It’s is a sure fire sign of how much the woman enjoyed our intimate time. And kind of flips the scales in the argument over who should sleep on the wet patch.

But, while any woman can gush, not all can ejaculate. Gushing (lubricant) comes from two different glans and their associated ducts in and around the entrance to the vagina. You can see these, the openings of the ducts, on this close-up the the female’s genitals.

Female Genitals
Female Genitals

The first source of gushing “cum” is the Batholin’s Gland which every woman has. You can see the opening of the left Batholin’s Gland which is circled in the image a little to the rear of the vaginal opening. There is another the same on the right side of the vagina.

The Skene’s gland is considered to be responsible for female ejaculation, but its anatomy varies greatly in every woman. Here it can be clearly seen just to the left of the urethral opening. In some women the Skenes glands drains into the urethra itself, which has reinforced the belief that it is pee. In some women it appears to be completely absent and would add to the argument that it is a complete myth.

If a woman has a healthy Skene’s gland that is well connected to her g-spot and clitoris and the conditions are just right (when her muscles contract or the penetration is just right and the exit of the ducts is not being cover by the labia) the glands will squirt girl juice like little syringes. They literally ejaculate fluid and it is just as convenient to call it girl cum.

Here are a couple of Wiki links you can check out that go into more clinical detail.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartholin%27s_gland

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skene%27s_gland

Learning to enjoy anal sex

Learning to enjoy anal sex:
– Introduction

Learning to enjoy anal sex is an issue that comes up again and again. If you are not into anal you may be asking why should you? Those who are into anal are asking why not? Those who want to please or share this experience with their partner are asking how can I?

So far, I am yet to see this subject addressed effectively. I see a lot of quick advice that lack any explanatory depth and only deal with one aspect or another. Some focus on one practice technique or another or they provide blind pieces of advice saying use more lube, taking it slower and just relax. All of which are good pieces of advice but not helpful it you believe your are already doing these things. Furthermore, this type of advice is treating symptoms and not addressing the root cause of many people’s discomfort. Continue reading “Learning to enjoy anal sex”