Motivations for anal training by yourself
Motivations for anal training start with the motivations for engaging in anal sex. They might stem from either a personal curiosity or drive to experience being penetrated anally or the more selfless act of ‘giving’ their ass to a partner. In either case, this can be the manifestation of a submissive streak, even if the recipient does not consider themselves a submissive in a BDSM context. Just because someone is submissive, even in the extreme, it does not mean they are into pain. So, people who are not into pain should train.
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The common reasons why people want to train by themselves are modesty, anxiety and fears (fear of pain or fear of failure) or some combination of those. All these reasons are the result of a lifetime of negative social programming. The ass and anal sex in particular, are the subjects of derision. Sins in the eyes of religious doctrine. It is considered by traditional societal values to be dirty and filthy as is the stuff that comes out of it. All this feeds into our modesty in a self loathing way. Anxiety arises from fear of persecution and rejection, fear of pain and fear of failure.
All too common port anal sex
The fear of painful anal sex is a legitimate fear
Fear of pain, or any fear, leads to anxiety. Anxiety leads to painful anal sex. The anticipation of pain is comes from multiple sources of negative social programming. Uneducated reports and derisive commentary on anal sex tell us it is going to be painful. The proliferation of Anal Sex in porn overwhelmingly depict it as a brutal act of domination. It is a common thread within the BDSM community. There are also many reports from ex-porn actors that many of the brutal anal sex acts are not an act.
The normalization of brutal anal sex set false expectations in many men. Many think that any woman who consents to anal sex must enjoy the pain. Others just figure it is an inevitable consequence of anal penetration and at some point pleasure takes over. Now aside from the fear of pain leading to pain, many have already had bad, painful anal experiences.
Benefits of anal sex training by yourself
Anal sex training by yourself removes performance anxieties and body negativity. You are not expecting to hurt yourself either. The removal of fear and anxiety is going to make the whole process of penetrating your ass easier. When you are anal training by yourself, you don’t have to worry about anyone else pleasure or disappointment.
You can surprise a partner with the special ‘gift’ of giving their ass and be assured that it will be easy and without a lot of negotiations, discussions or experimentation. You will not feel obliged to put up with pain and discomfort to avoid spoiling the sexual encounter for someone else. People want it to be a natural part of their sexual exploits and not be awkward.
Dealing with Mental Blocks
To get past a mental block you will do a lot better playing/training on your own. Even if you have a partner that is caring and gentle enough, you just need to focus on reprogramming/desensitizing your own psychological/physiological response. You can use simple classical conditioning techniques. The following is a detailed program for reprogramming yourself.
The following advice assumes you know about the anatomy of your ass. If you have any doubt read Common Causes of Anal Sex Problems first. You are also going to need a good anal lube to keep everything nice and slippery. You can find out all about What Makes a Good Anal Lube by clicking on that link.
Be comfortable with your ass
If you want to enjoy anal sex you have to be comfortable with your ass and anal sex training by yourself will make you comfortable with your ass. If you are not comfortable then you will have problems. I think it is fair to say that all the problems that people have with anal sex are in their mind. You will find another article here the deals directly with Learning to Enjoy Anal Sex. If you have misgivings about your ass, you need to address those first.
Most people’s anxiety with their ass stems from the Dirty issue. For the most part, your ass is not that dirty. It is not commonly know that in one field study it was determined that humans walk around with an average of 1 gram of fecal matter in their knickers/undies on a daily basis. You may not be one of those, but how would you know?
People pick up trace amounts of fecal matter off all sorts of horizontal surfaces. Like desks, benches, the arms of chairs, railings, etc. Most any time of any day you can touch (or scratch) your anus and your fingers will not turn brown. Occasionally you might detect that slight musty smell. Still most people don’t wash this off which is why we pick up traces of fecal matter from all over the place. The same can be said for sticking you finger in your anus. It is very unlikely it would come out visibly dirty. The ass is not as dirty as you might be lead to believe.
Not clean enough
For most people, the normal state of the anus is just not clean enough and nothing I say is going to change that. But you don’t have to hose your ass out or resort to laxatives. It is not that hard to make sure your ass is clean and free of poo for anal play. There are two articles that should help you with your understanding and put your mind at ease – Eating and Enemas for Clean Anal Sex and Issues with Enemas – Good and Bad.
However, when you are just starting out the simplest solution to keeping things clean is to start off your training while you are in the shower. If you are in the shower and do manage to get something sticky on your finger, there is soap on hand and plenty of running water.