Anal Sex – Starting out

by jacquie30sJuly 24, 2016

Hi I’m pretty new to anal and would like to be able to take my master’s cock. My question is probably pretty rudimentary, but i would appreciate any information on your own experiences.

If it’s painful at the beginning can it feel better once it is in, or does the pain just continue? I’m ok I think to take a bit of pain but I’m worried that too much will scare me off anal.

New South Wales, Australia
There are a lot of different causes for pain in the ass. Most of the pain is no big deal. Stop for a minute or slow down and the pain stops. Like stretching the skin around the anus is no worse than stretching your skin on any other part of the body. Although the anus is one of the more sensitive parts of the body, it is fear, uncertainty and doubt that give people an exaggerated sense of pain in this area.

Now there are a number of rings of muscle around the anal canal which we group into the two structures we call the inner and outer anal sphincters. The pelvic floor muscles and other connective tissue and muscles support these structures. Stretching a muscle is not a problem. But when you start to feel pain from a muscle, depending on how much, that area might feel tender for some time after, if not during. Tearing a muscle is a show stopper for most people but not all. As with any other toren muscle, you will feel that for days after. Some people are into the pain and like to be reminded of it in the days that follow, but these people are not in the majority.

Hemorrhoids and fissures are funny things. They can be a show stopper but not necessarily. Loads of people have these things. Everyone can expect that they have or will have them at some time in their live. The overwhelming majority will never know. Anal sex is known to reduce the occurrence of these over time but badly executed anal sex can also be the cause of them in the beginning.

Friction pain can be internal or external and continues and increases until the friction stops. Lube is the solution for this.

There are also autonomic responses and bruising. These can present as referred pain.

At the end of the day the most important thing to achieve is trust. Trust in your own body’s abilities, trusting your partner and open communication is an essential part of this. The Top must respect the feelings, emotions and physical responses, if not the limits/limitations, of the Bottom. The Bottom must communicate when things are not going right, whether psychological or physical, and not be afraid to say stop. It is often a lot harder for the inexperienced Bottom to accurately describe what is/was going wrong. For the Top, is it often hard to hear any criticism. This you just have to work on.

The article Common Causes of Anal Sex Problems is a pretty good starting point for beginners and helps gives couples common language and understanding if things don’t go to plan.

Also remember that anal sex is not always difficult. Perfectly Easy Anal Sex – A success story is a good reminder of this very point.

Hi max, thanks for the advice. I think I’m going to try pushing out when my master wants to try again and hopefully when i contract it will invite his cock in. Fingers crossed. It works in theory… i think.
New South Wales, Australia
Pushing your anus out and well lubed insides are key.
Put down a towel if you are worried about the lube coming out when you push your anus out. Once the head of his cock is past the anal sphincter (between 2 and 3 inches – 50 to 75 mm), your inner sphincter will completely relax. If your sphincter contract after this point is reached, it will only be the outer sphincter. Remember, your outer sphincter is controlled by your conscious mind. You will need you partners cooperation here. You need to stop, breath and compose yourself. Even if you find it difficult to release the outer sphincter again, all you need is a bit of patients. The outer anal sphincter is a muscle type that “fatigues”. That means that the contraction will only be temporary and then the outer sphincter will relax even if you don’t will it to do so.

This process is why so many say it starts out hurting and then it stops hurting. The first step of getting past the inner sphincter just takes patients. Very slowly creeping the head of the cock in as the inner sphincter slowly gives way to the pressure. Then pausing for a minute while the outer sphincter clenches (if it does). If you keep pushing out the outer sphincter won’t clench. Then slowly start moving the cock in and out. Slowly increasing thrust length and ultimately speed.

If he starts going too deep, you will feel some deep pain. Don’t panic about this just make sure he backs off to an acceptable speed and length of penetration.

Approach every encounter the same way. If you feel you are hitting a roadblock, come and ask for a little more guidance. Hopefully all will go well.

Thank you. You seem to know a lot about anal. I’ll be sure to get your guidance if i get stuck.