Q. I’m having trouble getting  a dildo deeper than 7 inches up my ass. I have a smaller one which hits a turn at about 7 inches in, but it’s skinny and flexible enough so I can push the last inch in. The bigger dildo however, hits a hard stop at this point and won’t progress any further. Is this something I can train or is it just the way my insides are?

A. You are hitting the underside (anterior surface) of the sacrum and probably getting stuck at the mid-transverse rectal fold. To get your larger dildo past this fold, you need to make sure the walls of the rectum are very slippery going through the fold. To lubricate the rectal wall up to (and hopefully through the fold) repeated insertions of your smaller dildo with lots of lube (or even the added use of a lube shooter) is where to start. The next step is to manipulate the base of the dildo to tilt the head in the right direction – towards your belly button. There are two techniques for achieving this.

  1. If there is any flex in the toy, reach between your legs and pull the protruding base of the dildo forward. Inside, the head will be pushed against the anterior surface of the sacrum and it will bend into the shape of a banana. Then you gently push the dildo in further. The head of the dildo will follow the curvature of the sacrum, slide out from under the sacrum at the base of the spine and into the abdominal cavity.
  2. If the dildo is too rigid to bend as described above, then you reach around behind and pull the protruding end back. This will cause the shaft to pivot (effectively) on the coccyx tilting the head out from under the sacrum and into the abdominal cavity.

As the head pushed through the transverse fold and springs out from under the sacrum into the abdominal cavity you may feel a distinct “Pop” sensation. This experience is almost universal and gives rise to the urban myth that there is a “second sphincter” up there.

Just to add a comment on the next “step”, the next potential stopping point is the opening to the sigmoid colon (or rectosigmoid flexure). This is encountered by most people between 9 to 12 inches inside. At this point there is a distinct narrowing of the colon. It is the narrowest point of the colon. This is another point where a “Pop” sensation might be felt as the head of a dildo passes through. Again, it is not a sphincter but reinforces the urban myths.