Broke up with my boyfriend 6-months ago and moved. Single since then. He was the first guy that I had ever had satisfying anal sex with. It takes me a while to get relaxed, and things got better as we practiced together.
Been on my own now for half a year, and I’m wondering if the back-door progress I made will fade, and if I start up with a new lover, will I have the tightness trouble that I had at first. Has this happened to anyone?
I’m wondering if I should ‘practice’ with a vibe or dildo to stay in shape?
Having found anal sex a satisfying activity that you would like to experience again, the first (somewhat obvious) question is; why don’t just add it to your self enjoyment sessions anyway? Understandably, it is never quite the same when you play on your own and maybe you don’t play with yourself. Certainly, if you don’t play with your asshole than you will lose some ground but the good work will never be undone completely.
Having enjoyed anal sex, you will always find it easier in the future than you did to begin with. It is a lot like learning to riding a bike, which they say you never forget. The reality is, while you never forget how to do it, you do get more and more wobbly the longer you abstain from it.
There are three aspects of human physiology that need consideration and give good the reasons for considering anal maintenance training. The relative importance of each will be an individual thing.
Training of the Sphincter
Training of the Anal Sphincter is not just a question of stretching or increasing the physical capabilities of the muscles. You need to pay attention to the two different muscles groups that make up the Anal Sphincter. We separate the Anal Sphincter into two structures, the Outer Anal Sphincter (OAS) and the Inner Anal Sphincter (IAS). Those groups of muscles are controlled by or connected to different parts of the human nervous system.
For the most part, any physical/mechanical limitations of the muscles can be dealt with by warm-up exercises. The normal business of going to the toilet should stop the Sphincter muscles becoming atrophied. What ever size you have stretched to in the past, you should be able to stretch to that size again with some warm oil and a massage that slowly stretches you open again before penetration. But if you are penetrating your ass fairly regularly with a dildo or other object, you won’t need as much warming up.
Training for the Somatic Nervous System
The OAS is connected to the Somatic Nervous System. This part of the nervous system lets us feel things because the neural receptors are connect through the spinal cord back to our brains. This enables us to feel touch, hot and cold. The skin around the anus is absolutely packed with nerve endings connected to the Somatic Nervous System. It is super sensitive. If it is left unattended for a lengthy period of time then any touch might be too much. When any nerves are left unstimulated for a long period they become very sensitive. Your ass is no different in that respect than your eyes or your ears. If you walk into a dark room, even after you pupils are fully dilated you still can’t see anything. After a minute or two shadows start to appear in the darkness. The longer you wait in the dark the more you can see. We call it Night Vision. Similarly, if you step into a room that is dead silent and just wait eventually you will be able to hear the blood pumping through your own ear drums. So you need to make sure that the nerves in you anus don’t become too sensitive to touch that anal penetration become something you feel is painful.
Likewise, the motor neurons of the Somatic Nervous System run signals from our brains to the muscles of the OAS. The muscles can be controlled by our thoughts. This group of muscles can be clenched voluntarily if you want to stop yourself going to the toilet and your can release them at will when you do make it to the toilet. Of course, with practice you get better at controlling these muscles consciously.
Training of the Enteric Nervous System
The ISA however is connect to the Enteric Nervous System (a subdivision of the Autonomic Nervous System). The difference with these nerves is that there is no direct connection to the brain. Enteric Sensory nerves run back to the spinal cord and there they are wired directly to motor neuron circuits. So the sensory nerves do not pass the sensations of touch, hot or cold back to the brain, instead they directly active muscle movements. IAS responds automatically to the stimulation of the sensory nerves in the rectum. When pressure is put on the walls of the rectum the IAS opens. You don’t get to make a conscious choice. Fortunately we can consciously control the OAS, otherwise we would all be walking around in nappies to avoid defecating everywhere as soon as our rectum started to fill up.
If you don’t play with the nerves in your rectum, they will become more sensitive again and that can make the experience of something poking around inside your rectum somewhat uncomfortable.
Training of the Subconscious
The subconscious is usually the biggest hurdle to someone’s enjoyment of anal sex. Anticipation of a problem, notably pain, will result in pain. Concerns about cleanliness will cause anxiety resulting in muscle tension also resulting in pain. The mere fact that you are conscious of the possibility of a backward step is enough to cause issues (pain) when you can and want to get back into anal sex with a partner.
Any anxiety, even everyday stress, will tighten your IAS and make it uncooperative. If something then tries to penetrate the tightened hole it will trigger the more direct worry from the sensation of tightness and that will tighten things up even more.
Regularly playing with your anus or penetrating it, especially while masterbating to orgasm, will dramatically reprogram your subconscious. If you make yourself feel good or specifically bring yourself to orgasm every time you put something in your ass, then as you get aroused, your subconscious will be anticipating something being stuffed in your ass for the orgasm.
People who are really into anal sex/play feel their anus start to “tingle” when they start getting arouse. If their rectum isn’t empty, their body automatically triggers the urge/need to go to the toilet so the rectum empties automatically so it is ready for action. This is likely one of the reasons anoreceptive people often say that don’t need a specific rectum cleaning routine. The need for enemas as a cleaning solution is much reduced and with the right diet, largely unnecessary.
Of course, if you gain pleasure from anal sex then why not just enjoy it playing with yourself? You don’t really have to treat it as a training regimen. Get yourself a dildo and have some fun with yourself until you find someone you want to have fun with.