Dealing with the Gag Reflex

This is guidance for the receiver. The one dealing with the gag reflex (receiver of the phallus not the receiver of the head job). Deep throat training is the purview of the throatee, but it is not a bad idea for the throater to know what the throatee is going through. Especially when it comes to hygiene so that is where we will start.

Triggers for the Gag Reflex

The Gag reflex is notably the focus of most discussions around learning the art of Deep Throat. Most people talk about it as some sort of singular function of the human body. An isolated “Thing”, but it is not. There are many facets to the Gag reflex. There are multiple trigger points and it can be influenced by your state of mind, your breath, your level of anxiety, et al.

While the Gag reflex is a physical response to physical stimuli, there are other psychological issues that some have to overcome. Many love the idea of pleasuring a man in this way. But some people have a real problem with the Dominance/Submissive mature of giving a Blow Job. Especially Deep Throating someone. Latent stigmas attached to the act. Swallowing male ejaculate (regardless of whether you plan to take it that far) is one issue. The taste and/or the smell are others. Taste and smell become irrelevant if ejaculation is into the back of the throat or even deeper, but there is a lot of work to go through before we get to that.

Some think it is icky put the male penis anywhere near the mouth because pee comes out of it. Men who lack the sensitivity to ensure their genital cleanliness aggravate this. Don’t forget that a bad smell is enough to make anyone gag. If your partner needs to clean up his act (literally) then speak up! Tell him to have a shower or at least freshen up his groin before even considering anything entering your mouth.

Clean before you play

Residual urine is a bigger issue for male genitals than it is for girls’. The urinary sphincter muscle is right at the “exit” on women. Once it is shut there is no tube full of excess pee beyond that point. No drips follow and a simple dab with toilet tissue pretty much sorts it.

The problem for men is that they have exactly the same sphincter in exactly the same place and that puts it a long way from the end of the penis. It is not even at the base of the penis. It is back, underneath, behind the balls (See illustration – right). Men would do well to make a special note of the fact that their dick has a tendency to drip after they finish urinating. Most girls have the decency to wipe when they are finished. Most guys do not. Yet they are the ones who drip on the floor and in their pants/undies much to the annoyance of women.

So, before we talk about deep throat training for the receiver, lets make sure the cock is clean. It is hard enough dealing with the mechanics of the gag reflex without having to deal with the smell/taste of stale sweat and urine.

What is the Gag Reflex

The gag reflex is part of the autonomic nervous system. This part of the human nervous system is not connect to your consciousness. In just the same way that you cannot control your colon, rectum or inner anal sphincters, you cannot consciously control your gag reflex. However, the autonomic nervous system can be retrained or reprogrammed. If you know about or have read Anal Training you are likely to see the similarities in the approach.

Forcing things down your throat repeatedly will get you there and an amazing number of people do just that. They allow their partners to just fuck their face. They put up with any unpleasantness for as long as it takes for the autonomic nervous system to adjust its response. For most people a forced face fucking is a total put off. It spoils any chance of them even attempting to deep throat a cock again. With a patience and a little perseverance the gag reflex can be suppressed with absolutely no pain or discomfort.

Retraining the autonomic nervous system is not measured in days or weeks, it is measured in minutes. Three (3) minutes will do it, and doing it repeatedly. This process is for self training. If you are the one wanting to stuff your partner’s throat, you must understand that it is only the one who will be taking the throat stuffing that can judge how far to go on any given occasion. This advice is for the stuffee not the stuffer. But I encourage a stuffer to read and understand what their partner must go through to deal with a throat stuffing.

The Process of Retraining the Gag Reflex

Gentle beginnings

The process is to touch the neural receptors that trigger the gag reflex but to do it gently enough so you start to feel the urge but not trigger it.

To begin with, you want to use something very smooth and quite thin. You should be able to find any number of household objects to get you started. A good choice is the handle of a plastic tooth brush. Here in the MaxPrivate dildo collection we have identified those products that will be particularly suited for Deep Throat Training. As was mentioned at the beginning of this article, the similarities with Anal Training makes the Anal Depth Training Dildos particularly suited to Deep Throat training.


You will find the neural receptors for the gag reflex at the back of the tongue and at the back of the throat. You start with the back of the tongue. Just start tickling the back of the tongue. As the urge to gag becomes overwhelming, back off just enough to stop the gag. The idea is to keep interfering with the neural receptors for 3 minutes almost continually. We are talking about a form of edging. I guaranty that at the end of 3 minutes you will be able to stand a lot more than when you started.

You can go for as long as you feel comfortable. If you push yourself, tire or your throat starts to get sore, stop. This process can be done several times a day with a couple of hours rest between sessions. It is far better to do many small sessions than push it once a day.

When you are comfortable touching any part of your tongue and the back of your throat with the smooth part, switch to the bristles. Start slowly again and build up the nervous system’s acceptance of a rough or scratchy touch.

Adjust to pressure

If you have any doubts about how much stuffing the human throat can take, the images here will show just how far you can take your deep throat training. Graphic images requires you to have register and be signed if you want to view these. This is far more that the size of most erections around. Most will never have to worry about anything more than the head of the cock pressing against the back of the throat.

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The final step is to acclimate the throat and tongue to the sense of pressure and fullness. I would suggest a dildo about the same size as a male cock, people also use various tubular fruit and vegetables. Start slowly from the beginning again. Along with the nervous system you now are working on the muscles in the throat and neck that also need to make adjustments. If necessary the throat will eventually adjust to accommodate a cock that is larger than would possibly fit in in the beginning. Much larger!

A final comment of conquering your Gag Reflex

There is no telling just how many training sessions it will take. The time taken is an individual thing. Practicing will ultimately result in the body adjust to having the esophagus stretched and straightened. Even having the trachea push forward in the neck to accommodate a cock that is not bending to the natural curve of the throat. These videos of those with the talent demonstrate this. The woman with the long dildo looks like she has no jaw line until she removes the dildo from her throat.

You can suppress the gag reflex quite quickly, but throat stuffing will take time and patience.

First published  Jul 14, 2015 – © Max Private

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  1. Plaster November 30, -0001 at 00:00

    Hi, I just found this website and am really, really digging it. 🙂

    This is overall a good article especially in that it doesn’t contain the weird advice I’ve seen before to actively swallow the cock— in my experience this is an advanced move once the throat is really conditioned, and one is warmed up. If I’m out of practice I find this actually enhances the gag reflex as it tightens things up. When DTing I use the swallowing as a way to provide targeted sensations for my partner,

    However, I do take issue with the assertion that “Deep throat training is really the purview of the throatee”. In fact as a bottom I think there is an awful lot of skill involved with topping. I’ve had good tops and careless tops. The good tops always get a better ride cause I can trust them. I wish there was more emphasis on how to top; everyone would have a better time. I personally have mastered my gag reflex for the most part and it’s the need for breath that is a real challenge.

    If you’d consider publishing I’d be willing to write about this, I’ve been thinking about it for a bit. I just don’t have anywhere to put it. This seems like a good place. I’d even be willing to ask the best DT top I’ve ever had what his perspectives are. Cumulatively he’s probably spent 100 hours in my face.

    In any event, thank you for your service. 🙂

  2. Diego August 21, 2015 at 10:57

    Thanks for this write up. I’ve been with my partner/wife for many years now and she just can’t get it right. Secretly I think she just has no desire to deep throat. I’ve just stopped asking for it as she shows no desire to learn or do this for me… Maybe this article might be just the ticket she needs.

  3. Chrissy4605 September 20, 2015 at 06:52

    This is a great article. I am able to deep throat most penises. The bigger they are the harder it is for me. So this exercise should help me to make more automatic.

  4. willobeyU October 17, 2015 at 05:28

    Sounds reasonably sensable, i’ll give it a try

  5. MtTightAss November 11, 2015 at 14:30

    This is a excellent topic and very helpful as well as insightful as well. I had to have a good part of my gag reflex removed due to a nasty sleep apnea problem. I kept on stopping breathing during the night and since I had not had tonsils removed like most as a child I went ahead thinking it may be a good thing if it would help me from choking on my own tongue while sleeping. However I later learned this was totally a bad idea. Only thing it did help some with is deep throating a cock some. I have yet to get that past that reflex but its getting much easier as time goes by.

    Do keep up the great work and very insightful responses regarding human sexuality please.

  6. cat April 23, 2016 at 07:13

    You know why must someone try to learn not to gag when doing this? The man should be happy he is getting a blow job without having to choke his partner. If he was choked and gagged every time he gave his woman oral he would be turned off by it. So in my mind he should try and enjoy what she is able to do.

  7. Max Private May 3, 2016 at 01:06

    @Cat – A perfectly legitimate question. As with most of the article on this site, the moral, ethical and philosophical question are not really addressed. The focus is on the physical and technical solution. Many people who are in a BDSM relationship don’t want to suppress the gag reflex at all, but both the giver and receiver relish the gag reflex. Then there are dominants who want to swallow a cock and controlling their gag reflex is part of the act of domination. Then there are those who just want to please their partner either by swallowing their cock or their cum without tasting the cum.

    Certainly, no person (woman or otherwise) should be compelled to do anything against their will. However, that is a caveat for all of the sex acts covered by the articles here.

  8. cat May 12, 2016 at 01:21

    Yes I do agree that your information on here is strictly physical aspects so I really should not have posted that. I have benefited from some of the information you have supplied on the anal activities and how the body works. I guess being woman I just naturally gravitate with those feelings! Ha Ha, but great insight on this website. Thanks!!!

  9. Max Private July 24, 2016 at 01:16

    @Plaster – There is no doubt that the skill or behaviour of the Top can have a big influence on deep throating goes. The problem for the Bottom is what to do if your Top is not so experienced or knowledgeable. Also, Bottoms often need to be empowered. Depending on the dynamic of the relationship the Top may not want to make life easier for the bottom.

    Now for partners with more considerate Top’s I think it would be great to get advice and insight from an experienced Bottom like yourself and any of your Tops who would be prepared to make a contribution.

  10. essayforme November 30, -0001 at 00:00

    This is nicely expressed! .

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    • Max Private November 20, 2019 at 18:13

      Greetings Florida!

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